Of This I am Proud

Writing has always been my outlet. It has been a way for me to cope with life. The good, the bad, the funny, the sad and all the other stuff in between.

When I was a freshman in college, my mom got sick. She was really, very sick and they had no idea what was wrong with her. She was in a coma and we didn't know if she would ever wake up.

She of course did get better and is fine today but the whole experience was unsettling to say the least. It was my first experience of dealing with the morality of my parents. And at the tender age of 19, that is a very sobering thing.

Once my Mom was better and life had returned to normal, inspiration hit me to write a poem about the whole experience. It was my way of wrapping the whole experience up and putting it away.

I vividly remember the inspiration hitting me. It was in the Spring and I remember walking out of class back to my dorm room when the words just started to come. They just started to spill out of me. I couldn't control it. I remember running back to my dorm so that I could grab a pencil and write it down.

I presented this to my Mom on Mother's Day. She cried when she read it and I remember being so proud that my words could touch her in that way.

So because today is her Birthday and any day is a good day to tell your Mom that you love her, I want to share it all over again.

It is amazing how quickly life can change.
I went about a normal day, when the phone rang....
The news was not good, "Mom is sick, you better come."

I have never been so scared.

The trip to the hospital seemed to take hours.
I walked through the hospital doors and into a weekend that would forever change my life.

"You can see her now," they said.
Lisa and Dad went first.
Lisa came back with her eyes full of tears and said, "That's not my mom."

I went to see and was in shock.
What's happening? What's going on?
I asked the nurse, "Is she going to die?"
"Prepare yourself," she said, "We just don't know."

Alone with you, I took your hand.
I didn't want to cry but tears rolled down.
"You can't die," I said, "I still need you, I need my mom."

I longed for a hug, words of comfort but nothing, only the sound of breathing.

I left your side and cried.
I cried until only dry sobs were left.

"My mom might die," is all I could think.

Two days past with no change.
I ached to hear your voice, for you to grab my hand.

Then suddenly, you began to move, thrashing, squirming, yelling for the bathroom.
I thought my knees would give,
for my mom was dead but now she lives.

One day more and I received my hug.
To be in my mother's arms, oh joy, oh bliss.

Each day, I came to see you and each night I had to leave.
The leaving was hard.
I sang to you to ease the pain,
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound...."

After time, you came home.
I felt so proud, like a mother bringing home her newborn baby.
I have my mommy back.

I have learned to cherish you.
Each word you speak is priceless.
Each hug you give is like gold.
The time we spend together is a memory set in stone.

On this day, I celebrate you, your love, your friendship, your health and your motherhood.
I love you, Mom.

My Mom meeting Hayden for the first time.



This post has been part of Writer's Workshop.
Go see what other people are writing about.

Wordful Wednesday Birthday Recap

"Hey Hayden? Did you have a good birthday?"

"Yeah!!!"

"What was the best part?"

"Getting a 'dollar' for a present and...."

my CAKE!"

That's right folks, my husband, the ace of cakes, was at it again.
He made Nemo last time, this time it was Aang from Avatar, the Last Airbender.

I am starting to wonder if we should put his talents to good use?
Maybe a part-time job as a cake decorator?
I see some more shopping in my future.

Dear Hayden

I can't believe that I have been your mother for 5 years. I am the mother of a 5 year old, a kindergartner. I am not sad that you are growing up, I am happy about it. I have loved watching you grow. Since you were young, I have always wished you to the next stage. And you have had no problem getting there, even early in fact.


But you never would have guessed that from how you were born. You were a very big baby and I was convinced that you should come early. I tried everything in my power to do that. All the old wives tales----I tried them. I ate Eggplant Parmesan like it was going out of style. One Saturday, I walked so much that I began contracting and I thought that you were coming but it was just not your time.

No you came 4 days after you were due, after 10 hours of labor, after 3 hours of pushing and after a c-section. But I didn't really care, you were here and that is all that mattered to me.

From the moment I saw you, I loved you. I was in love with you. All I wanted to do was be with you, hold you and just watch you. During the first three months of your life, we were rarely apart. Every night, I rocked you to sleep. For hours, I would just sit, rock you and sing. Tears of joy and love would just stream down my face. I never wanted to be apart form you. I hated how my arms felt when you were not in them.

I vividly remember that morning I had to go back to work. I stood over your crib watching you sleep, knowing that I had to leave but I could not let go of your crib. How were you going to survive without me? I was your mother, how could I leave you? What if you needed me?

Your first few months in daycare, I called about 4 times a day. I just had to know that you were alright. With each phone call, I was reassured that you were fine. You were happy, fed and napping.

I realize now that that day when I first left for work, things changed for us. I still loved you with all my heart and soul but we no longer needed to be together every minute. It was the first of many times in your life that I would have to learn how to let go.

I must say, you have made this lesson easy for me. My brain is grateful but my heart, well it aches for you to want me or need me once again.

You have always been a very social and outgoing little boy. Your enthusiasm for the world around you is wonderful but at times can be overwhelming. You give love to anyone who needs it. When people would take you from my arms, you never looked back, never longed or looked for me. You have always been very friendly. Your open heart is a joy to me. I love how you will befriend anyone, you except people no matter what. I pray that this continues and that the world doesn't take this from you as you get older.

I can honestly say that I am excited about this next year and the years that will follow. So many cool and exciting things are going to happen to you, being in school is the first. I know that it is not going to be easy as you grow up. But always know this, no matter how old you get and how little your need for me becomes, I will always be here. No matter what! There is nothing that you can do to make me stop loving you. And at anytime you need to or maybe when I need to, I will always be willing to hold you once again.

So Happy 5th Birthday, my sweet boy. I can't wait to see where this next year takes you. I know that it is going to be full of fun, exciting and even some scary times. But we will face them all, together.

Love, Mom.

Going To Get Some Ink

This year, I will be turning 30. I had a really awesome Birthday last year so what would top that but a trip to Vegas, of course.

I can't think of a better way to celebrate my Birthday. It is going to be awesome!
But there is something that I really, really want.....

A tattoo.

I think that to mark my 30th Birthday, while in Vegas, I am going to get a tattoo.
I have no idea what to get but I am sure I will figure something out.

Well, Jake must have over heard me talking about his and he decided to ink himself too.

But I am not so sure how happy he will be with his ink in 20 years.

Worful Wednesday is Hosted by

A Birthday, Its All Fun Until Someone Cries

In this house, there is a complete love affair with Nemo and all things Nemo.

We, well the kids, watch Nemo multiple times a day.
So it was only fitting that the theme of
Quinn, Jake and Claire's 2nd Birthday be
Nemo.

Including a Nemo cake, made lovingly by Daddy.

It was a HUGE hit!
Especially with Jake, who has the biggest love for all things Nemo.

Not only was it fun to look at but it was also yummy to eat.

But even with all this yummy cake eating going on
there was a little crisis that took place.
You see, sometimes it is very difficult to be the oldest.
Especially when you used to be the one and only and now you are one of four.
It is hard when as the oldest you are used to being the center of attention.
It is hard to watch everyone else open presents, when there are none for you.
It is hard to understand why it can't just be your birthday today too.

It is so hard that sometimes you just need to cry.
It wasn't his party but he sure did cry.

But don't worry everything ended up all good in the end.
Because little 2 year old are not so good at ripping open presents
and need 'help' from their big brother.

Its A Happy Birthday Summer Fun Give Away!

Ah, Summer.

It truly is one of the best times of the year.
Long days to play outside.
Bugs and Frogs to catch.
Warm weather to enjoy a swim.

What's not to like?

Well, two summers ago I was really, really anxious.
I could not wait for it to begin.
The reason?

On this day two years ago, Quinn, Jacob and Claire were born.
I was admitted to the hospital at 9am for an 11am c-section.
From that admission I wanted three things.

First, I wanted my epidural to take away all the aches and pains from the hugeness that was my triplet pregnancy.

Second, I wanted a catheter placed in my bladder so that I would not have to muster the strength to get up and pee every 7 minutes.

Lastly and most importantly, I wanted to hear the cries of three babies. I knew that if I heard them cry everything would be alright.

And at 12:15pm, I got my wish when Quinn was born.
At 12:16, I got my wish again when Jacob was born and at 12:17pm my wish came true once again when Claire came into the world.
Every one cried their eyes out including me.
Life was good but the adventure was just beginning.

So in honor of Quinn, Jake and Claire's second birthday and me surviving two years of triplets.
I am going to be hosting a Summer Fun Give Away.
I am giving away a Happy Animal Play Center.


This little pool promises hours and hours of summer fun and entertainment for the kids. And maybe if you're lucky, a blog post or two (wink, wink).

Now that the kids are entertained, Mommy needs a little fun. If I could, I would ship some Margaritas your way but I don't think that they would hold up in the mail. So instead, my gift for the Mommy (or Daddy) is a $25 gift card to Target.
Love, Target!

So how do you enter this lovely give away?

Well, for your first and most important entry, leave me a comment telling me how awesome I am. No, just kidding. Just let me know you want to be included.

For another entry, you can Follow me. If you already do, just let me know that you do.

For a third entry, you can subscribe to my feed in a reader or via email. If you already do that, just let me know.

For a fourth and final entry, if you have a blog or tweet on Twitter then tell people about my give away. Just make sure that you come back and leave the link to the post/tweet in the comment section so that I can check it out.

(This contest is open to all my readers. If you come here and read my blog but don't have a blog and want to enter, then send me an email and I will enter you.)

So there you have it.
And Happy Birthday Quinn, Jacob and Claire!
I love you guys more and more each day.
This is going to be an awesome Summer.
I can't wait to share all the fun of summer with my 2 year olds.



This contest will be open until Wednesday, June 24th at 11:00pm eastern standard time. I will announce the winner on Friday June 26th. The winner must have a valid email address in order to claim the prize.
Good Luck and Thank You for helping me celebrate.

It's Offical, I Married a Geek.

And no matter what they say,
I love this man with all my heart.
There is no better person in the world for me
to have as a husband, partner and friend.
Happy Birthday, Jeff.

Birthday Cake and Ice Cream

We went to a birthday party

to celebrate GG's life.

We had our fill of yummy cake with cherry ice cream too .

Hayden tried to master the art of the jigsaw puzzle.

And the babies, well they....

RAN!

They Let the Fancy Pants Foodie Out Again

Last weekend, Jeff and I got to get away for a whole day. It was a birthday present from my mom. She got us tickets to the Food and Wine Festival here in town.

We had so much fun, well 9 hours of fun to be exact. There were over 200 booths set up where you could taste different wine, beer and food selections.

All the food samples were from local restaurants. And even though all the beer and wine were not produced here, they could be purchased at local stores. It was like the my favorite wine store let me taste every single bottle they stock.

Fabulous!

I have no idea who there people are but this is what each wine sampling booth looked like.

Here is a booth from one of the local restaurants.

There were also cooking demonstrations and classes that you could attend.
I loved this part. It gave me a small taste of culinary school and now I want more.

A couple of the local 5 star restaurants did a food and wine pairing meal. They prepared 3 courses and then paired each course with a different wine which highlighted each course.


It was so cool because the food the prepared and plated right in front of you. The chef was also around to answer questions.

This was a beef tenderloin that was amazing, I almost forgot the take a picture of it. I just melted in your mouth. And best of all, the chef told me how to make it.

Dessert. What can I say about dessert. I was a little sad that it did not include any chocolate but I guess you can't go wrong with goat cheese cheesecake with berries steeped in Grand Marnier served with Ice Wine.

For a foodie like me, this was one of the best presents EVER! Jeff and I enjoyed every minute of it. I just love learning about food and wine but even more than that, I love tasting food and wine.
Combining two loves, well three if you count Jeff, I can't think of a better way to spend a day.

A Mother's Birthday Wish

Until about 5 years ago, I did not understand what is meant to be a mother.
I did not understand the love; love in which your heart is now outside our body. I did not understand the worry; worry that can shatter your whole world in a second.
I did not understand the sacrifice; sacrifice in which your happiness as a person no longer comes first, when your children are happy that is truly the greatest joy.
I did not understand your faith, faith in God which is needed to raise strong children.
And I did not understand you, Mom. That is until I became a mother.

I see and know why you did the things to you did, the choices you made.
I understand you, your hard work and just trying to give us a happy life.
I understand your tears when I cried.
I understand your friendship and support when I needed it most.
I understand your joy and praise at my greatest moments.
I understand it all because I am now a mother.
I am a good mother because of you. In some ways, I followed your example and in other ways I learned from it.
Thank you.

Thank you for helping me be the best mother that I can be.
I celebrate today, your Birthday. I know that it maybe filled with more sadness than joy but know this, I love you, I am grateful for you, I cherish you and I am so proud to have you as a mother and a grandmother to my children.

From her namesake, I wish you the Happiest of Birthdays.

Click here to see who else is joining in for Wordful Wednesday.

More Confessions But This Time From The Birthday Girl

So Jeff's post is awesome. But there is another side of the story, my side. I wanted to do something for my birthday but I didn't know what. I was thinking of having a contest for my birthday but I never got around to getting a prize or publicizing it. So I asked Jeff if he would make a birthday post for me. He agreed, all too readily now when I look back.

So he wrote a post and told me that he scheduled it for 12:01am. I was cool with that. I had had a very awesome blogging day with the blogathon so I quit blogging early and went to bed. I was scheduled to work in the morning. I actually set my alarm for a half hour early so that I could have time to read his birthday post.

When I go to blog the first thing I always do is check my e-mail but this time, I read the post first. It was shorter than I was expecting but very sweet. I like it but it did confuse me. My present was on the internet? What!?! Then my e-mail popped up with 35 comments. I was surprise to say the least but thought it was all still from the blogathon. But then I started reading the comments.

The commets were all wishing me a happy birthday and a couple people said to come over to their blogs because part of my present was there. I was still very confused but I went read some of blogs on my blog roll.

I was SHOCKED! My mouth was hanging open, my hands were shaking and a few tears rolled down my cheeks as I read. All the posts were about ME!

By this time Jeff and come into the room, I barely noticed, he hugged me and wispered, "Happy Birthday, Babe." I turned to look and him in a state of confusion and asked, "What is this? What did you do?" (Well, you know that story, if not read below.)

I really wanted to read all the post but I couldn't. I had to get ready for work and I was late already. I was so distracted driving into work thinking about my gift. Thinking about how totally awesome that was and how I couldn't believe that everyone was so willing to do this. I truly felt so special and loved.

At work, I snuck out on the iternet and into the blogosphere when ever I could. I was totally overwhelmed with what I found and all the comments that came my way. When I think about it, I still am amazed. I am so blessed to know so many wonderful bloggers that I truly call my friends. And from the bottom of my heart, Thank you for making this one of my best Birthdays.

Confessions of an Internet Crossdresser

So you know how you see screen names and sometimes think, "is that really some creepy dude sitting in the house in his boxers with his little soldier poking out?" Well, that's me -- kind of. I hereby swear on my lucky d20 (it's a Dungeons and Dragons reference -- find a dork and ask them to explain it) that I was fully clothed during all of my time spent as SnowboundGal.

SnowboundGal is an account I created to handle all of the communication necessary to organize Jen's digital birthday party. (For those of you who have just left your Amish homestead and are wondering what I'm babbling about, you will be enlightened by reading the two posts from the 15th.) I wanted a separate account to eliminate the risk that Jen would accidentally see a message relating to the surprise, and I also needed an account in order to make comments on some blogs whose owners didn't post their e-mail addresses. I chose a female-sounding name because most of the blogs Jen reads are authored and read by women and I desperately wanted to fit in. Finally the (extremely lame) name was one of those mental "Column A, Column B" exercises.

The rest of the story is pretty self-explanatory. About two weeks prior to Jen's birthday, I spent an afternoon gathering e-mail addresses, drafting a mass e-mail explaining my little project, and compulsively checking my feminine account for responses. I was immediately inundated with positive responses (including one that bordered on a wedding proposal.) I spent the remaining time answering questions and leaving what I hoped were enticing comments on the few blogs which did not have easily accessible e-mail addresses. Any of you bloggers wondering who SnowboundGal was and what her "secret mission" was, that was me and my project. In a fit of paranoia, I thought Jen might see this crazy SnowboundGal chick leaving comments about a secret mission and feel left out. So I left a comment for her and ended up carrying on a conversation about a made-up thesis concerning the ability of an internet community to remove barriers when talking to strangers. It was only a few e-mails, but I had to be careful so SnowboundGal's correspondence didn't come through with my "voice".

So yeah, I'm pretty good at lying to my wife. Do I feel guilty about it? Not in the least. I Love her and thus I will use my powers only for good.

To say that the surprise was a success would be a gross understatement. Jen spent most of the day giddy (her word -- I prefer twitterpated), and I know she ended up crying a bit when she first realized what was going on. I was amazed by how willing people were to take time out of their busy lives to make Jen feel special. It says a lot about how closely-knit the blogging community is -- obviously you are much more to each other than a group of pixels on a computer screen. I tried to look at each post and leave a comment (as Jeff) for the author. My apologies to anyone I may have missed. Each post was special, but as Jen and I were talking last night, a few stuck out. We saw posts with poems, videos, comics and some extremely strange stick formations.

To finish off the bloggy (is that in the Scrabble dictionary?) theme to the birthday, I also purchased a half-dozen of Susie's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Balls and they were delicious. Susie went to a lot of trouble to make sure they arrived on time, even though the rush was necessitated by my procrastination. Thanks, Susie.

Because I'm a numbers guy I wanted to throw out some quick little metrics. Jen averages about 25 comments per post. We each made a post on her birthday and by the end of the day they had received 68 comments (his) and 96 comments (hers). I looked at the number 96, and went back to the featured posts from her SITS day and saw a maximum count of 87 comments for a single post. Upon seeing this I bellowed, "Behold the power of my surprise party, for it is even greater than the power of the SITS day!" I then remembered that SITS does this not once in a lifetime like me, but...

Every. Damn. Weekday.

...and I was immediately silenced. Jen's birthday party also quadrupled her usual traffic (from about 125 hits per day to over 500), and we saw the incoming traffic from referring sites skyrocket.

Finally, a big thanks to everyone who helped support this project, whether it was by posting on your blogs, leaving comments the birthday posts, or both. I hope you all enjoyed being a part of it as much as I enjoyed putting it together. Jen loved her present and I fear that I'm going to have to get extremely creative to top this next year.

Happy Birthday To Me, Indeed

OMG!!!! I am just so shocked and surprised! I can't believe it, I can't believe what Jeff did. He was telling me the whole story. He is one sneeky guy. But I love do him for that.
I do have to say that I love surprises and this is one of the best. But to me the best part of a surprise is figuring it out and I had no idea. You all did very, very well keep this from me. We will have a chat about this later.
This has got to be one of the best Birthday presents, EVER!!!! You all have such a special place in my heart and love you all so. I wish you could have seen my tears (of happiness and joy) this morning as I now stumble for words, I think they said it best.


Edit: I thought I better add a note for those who don't know, my hubby Jeff, went to all the bloggers on my blog roll and asked them to make a post tell me Happy Birthday. It is a virtual Surprise Party.

Happy Birthday, Jen!

It's Jen's birthday today. How she managed to survive another year with 4 (sometimes 5) children is beyond me, but she has done it.

To all the readers out there, let Jen know how special she is with a quick comment.

To Jen, I love you with all my heart and wish for you to have a very happy birthday. You are the core of my life -- my last thought before I sleep and my first thought when I wake up (after cursing the child or device that has awakened me.) Every day I spend with you in my life is a gift I cherish, even if I sometimes fail to show it.

P.S. I got you a present, but I left it somewhere on the internet -- maybe you can find it.

A Birthday Letter

To My Dear Sister,

Today is your birthday. Let me just tell you Happy Birthday! I can't believe where the years have gone. I can't believe where life has taken us. Our story of sisterhood is really something, full of good times and bad.

I remember the early days, even though I wish you didn't. I was not a good big sister, well to be frank, I was a terrible sister. I know it must have been so confusing for you. One day we were playing Barbies together, the best of friends and the next day I was locking you out of the house, screaming at you to run away and never return.

I lost track of you through college and during the first part of my marriage. I was not there for you when you were dealing with the your unexpected pregnancy and in all honesty, I might have made matters worse by my comments and actions. I was so judgmental and harsh, you had every right not to ever speak to me again. I hurt you so badly, I don't know if anything will heal those wounds.

Life went on and so did we. And over time, we changed, we both grew up. I don't know how or when exactly it happened but it did. I believe that the common bond of motherhood brought us together, helped us grow into friends.

Then you did something amazing and you went above and beyond my wildest dreams. You stepped up and became a mother to my son when I was not able. You loved him like your own and made sure that I had time with him every single day while I was in the hospital. That simple act, although it was challenging with two rambunctious 2 years, was the highlight of my day. I used to count the hours until you came.

Then after the babies were born, you did it again. You stepped up to help with out even a second thought. You were there when I needed you most and even when I didn't even know that I needed you. You gave us the best gift, the gift that parents of triplets want most, sleep. You came over in the night and cared for my small babies, once again just as if they were your own. You gave me peace of mind and made it possible for me to cope. I don't know how I will ever repay you or if I even can.

All I can say is Thank You, from the bottom of my heart Thank You.

Life is funny and takes us places that we do not plan. Your life is one big example. It is so not fair that for you, life is always a struggle. You have had to fight for everything you have and them some. I wish for once it would come easy for you. I wish for once, I could bare your burden and you could have the 'perfect' life. No more struggles, no more fights, no more tears.

But alas, I cannot. All I can do is love and support you. Sometimes our relationship feels so one sided. I feel that I can't give back to you all that you have given me. You have done more for me than you will ever know and I feel that I just take and take from you. I hope you know, that I willing do anything for you, anything. I want to be there for you. I am so proud to have you as my sister. I am your biggest fan, your cheerleader, your friend.

I know that right now, life is very stressful for you. But it will get better, I promise. You will get everything that you deserve and more. You will be happy. I will do everything in my power to help you achieve this. Whatever it takes, I am here.

I know that the last thing you have time for right now is to celebrate your Birthday but I want to celebrate! Because with out this day, 26 years ago, I would not have gotten a sister, my very best friend.

I love you more than words are able to express. I hope you have a great day and I will be there with Strawberry Pretzel Salad and Apple Cheesecake.

Love Forever,
Jen

Birthday Fun...Kinda

Here are a few pictures from yesterday's small party. I say small party because next weekend we are having their "real" party at the beach. Mmmmm cake and sand! They all seemed to like the cake but Quinn really got into it. Claire on the other hand, cried and went to sleep (In her defense, she does have an ear infection).








If you would like to see all the birthday photos click on the Our Photo Album link.

Happy First Birthday, Claire!

Claire Suzanne was the last of the triplets born weighing in at 4lbs 3oz. She is the youngest, the only girl and the smallest of the bunch. But don't feel sorry for her. They say that girls are made of sugar and spice, well this little girl is mostly spice. She, at times, can be a total princess and then the next minute is more ruff and tumble than the boys. But the one constant is that she is a huge Daddy's girl!
Claire sat on my left side curled up in a little ball for most of the pregnancy. She had the least amount of space but she caused the most trouble. If she was awake and moving, her brothers had to be awake and moving. She would always start the movement cascade around my belly.
Still to this day, Claire is the smallest. She always befriends one of her brothers for the day. She is also likes to mimic the activities that I do. She helps me wash the boys hair in the tub and helps be take dishes out of the dishwasher and then hands them to me. She likes to put toys away and trust me I am going to nurture this love cleaning for my advantage.