Special Multiples Mom Bond

I am a mother of multiples and I have learned, since their birth, that there is a secret club of multiple moms. You see, when my kids and I go out in public, we can tend to make quite a scene and draw some attention, either wanted or unwanted (to be honest, is it mostly unwanted). I have learned, from other triplet moms, that you just go about your business and don't make eye contact.

I see people out of the corner of my eye discussing me and my kids, I see them pointing at us but I never look at them because that invites the conversation and the gawking. I usually keep my head down, walk fast and never ever make eye contact.

Once in a while a few people will slip in and they trick me into eye contact which to them is an invitation to talk with me about my kids. There is something in this invitation which they must feel allows them to ask personal questions like, Were they conceived naturally? Did you have infertility treatments? Are they all yours? Are they natural? You get the idea.

But once in a while, I will come across another multiples mom and we have this look that we give each other that says, yes finally some one that knows what I am going through and can relate. We will always stop to talk to each other and share baby life stories. We are linked by this common bond; we had too many children at once, yes we love them to death but what in the world were we thinking and thank goodness you know how it feels, lets have a 2 minute adult conversation because that's all the kids will tolerate before running in a million directions.

So in sharing this multiples mom bond, yesterday at the pool, when I saw a mom with quads, I naturally went over to her to say hello and chat for a minute. After all, we should be instant friends because of our special multiples mom bond. So imagine my surprise, when she was not at all friendly with me and treated me like the general public who was just kid gawking. I quickly told her that I had triplets (I guess I should have started with that but I thought that it was obvious by the three babies hanging on my legs) and this melted the cold shoulder a little bit and she slowed her walk but no look, no other reaction. Ok, I get it you are just busy right now, trust me I know. I will give you your space.

So I went about gathering my kids for lunch. At the lunch area, I saw her again and she was alone putting the trash from lunch away. I went over to the trash can to try one more time. I know we have this special bond, I just know it. I asked her a little bit about her kids and ... nothing! She didn't even make I contact. She just kept on putting trash away. What about the special multiples mom bond? Maybe it is not there for people with quads or more. This was my first experience with a quad mom.

I just don't know but I did learn something from this experience. I am going to take a page from my Mom's book. She is awesome at meeting and talking to new people about my triplets. She is so proud of them and loves to show them off. She will walk up to anyone and tell them all about the babies, whether they want to know or not.

Now, I am not going to go that far but I am going to stop looking at the ground when I am out in public. So if you see me out and about, feel free to stop me and gawk at my kids, I mean talk bout my kids (unless I look hurried or some one is screaming, then I really have to go, no wait that is usually all the time, no its alright I will make eye contact with you and invite you in, but enter at your own risk). I will answer your questions as long as they are not too personal. Maybe one of the babies will even talk or smile at you (probably not). But I think that in doing this, I am going to have to make a sign that says, YES, THEY ARE NATURAL!