1-800 Dial a Nurse

Nap time is my time of day. I use it to do things that I want to do. I don't use this time to pick up the house, do laundry, or clean. I use it to watch TV, read a book, relax on the couch, blog or sometimes take a nap myself.

This one hour (some times two if I am lucky) a day is my time. I use it to recharge and unwind. I feel that I deserve at least that. And sure, if I used this time to clean the house, fold laundry or pick up, my house hold chores would get done faster but I know that I would be miserable. I need this time to stay sane.

This time of day is so precious to me that I usually don't even answer the phone. Well, that's not true, I screen the calls and if its someone that I don't know or I don't want to talk to, I let it go straight to voice mail. I will return the call later in the day or in the evening.

This exact thing happened the other day. I was at the computer when the phone rang. I wasn't going even get up to look at the phone but I decided that I should. I mean, what if it was my mother calling. I really should take her calls, right!?

But instead, the caller ID told me that it was my unit at the hospital calling. I figured they were just calling to ask me to work and there was no way I could. And besides, my precious nap time is not a time to talk to anyone at work, so I ignored the call.

A little later, after the kids were awake and settled with a snack, the beep of my phone reminded me that I had an unheard message. I grabbed my phone, pulled up my voice mail and listened.

I expected one of my co-workers to come on the line and leave me a message about how we were shorted staffed at 3pm and if I was able to work to please call. But what I heard was entirely different.

A gruff female voice came on the phone and said, "Bob! Bob! Why are you not answering Bob?"

Then in the background I heard other people talking, "Make sure you tell him that we are going to be moving out of the ICU. You will no longer be in room 12. Tell him to make sure that he brings you some clothes."

Then there was some shuffling and I heard another voice, "Yes, your call light is on? What can I help you with?"

"Pooooop!" The first gruff female voice shouted. "I gotta pooooop! Poooop! I gotta poooop!" The voice continued only louder, "Bob! Bob, you sonofab*tch, answer me!"

Then the background voice spoke up again, "Mom, you need to hang up the phone. He is not there."

"Poop," the gruff female voice said again, "I gotta poooop! Poop. Poop. Poop."

Then nothing, the messaged ended.

I looked at my phone. Listened to the message again. Checked to make sure that the phone number was actually from the hospital.

Then I did the only thing that I thought was right. I called up my friend, who I knew was working and said, "Um yeah, the patient in room 12 just called me and I think she may need some help going to the bathroom. Will you check into it?"

She started to protest and question me but I just said, "Trust me, on this one." I closed my phone and shook my head, "Weird just weird."

I put my phone away and hoped that there would be no more calls for Bob or the bathroom to my phone.