Wait, I need to clarify. I like to go shopping by myself. Because lets face it, the reality is taking kids shopping, well it just sucks. Not every time but most of the time it is not fun for mommy and kids alike.
But who can really blame them. I don't think that I would like being strapped into a cart for an unknown amount of time, constantly being told to not touch things.
But sometimes when we go to the store it is not the kids that make is a the trip terrible, its the people. John Q Public.
Most people are not terrible. Most people are just curious about the kids. When they were babies, we would get stopped a lot and questioned, "Are they triplets?" "Are they all yours?" "Were they natural?" "Do they have the same birthday?" "Did you give birth to them all at the same time?"
Now that they are older, people don't stop us a whole lot. If they do, they ask if the little boys are twins? Or they are confused about their ages. I also get a lot of 'my your hands are full' comments. I don't mind these comments or questions. I smile graciously and answer what I can.
The people that bother me are the ones that look down their noses at me, that scoff when it takes me extra time to walk by or 'tsk tsk' me when one of the little kids gets too far ahead for their liking. They are the people that I see roll their eyes are me or say comments, "Some people just don't know when to quit."
I don't like these people. They harden me to others and make me think twice about talking to strangers and make me bitter about dealing with people.
But there are a few people that are truly diamonds in the rough. This small handful of people don't judge me or scoff at me. They don't ask to personal questions like 'did you have sex three times to get that many?' These people actually help me.
I never see them coming but they are always there when I need it most. Like when Jake is screaming his head off and falling out of the cart while Claire has spilled water all over the isle and herself and Quinn has run off and Hayden is trying to steal and open a candy bar. They swoop in and somehow help me regain control.
They make the kids giggle with a silly face or funny joke. They offer a balloon or small toy as a distraction. They calmly return the missing child. They tell me stories of how horrible their children were in a store.
These people are just magical. I don't know how or from where they come but I am always glad that they do. They deserve so much more than my Thank you's.
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32 comments:
Love it :-) You are sooo right!
How come I never meet these diamond people? I always run into the first type. The ones who were never children themselves and who hate people who are children at the moment. Those are the kind I get. Lucky for me, I don't have a problem sweeping the leg. Look at my kids crazy, make a nasty remark, actually say something to one of my dudes...watch out, because Johnny isn't the only one who can fight dirty. Dumb Mom can too. Sweep. The. Leg.
You are not alone. Believe me. I just try to be thankful for the good ones when they come along...even if just for a second...interrupting my frazzled self to thank them from the bottom of my heart! I'm going to tweet this post out...it's awesome!
We're at the point now where I try to avoid shopping with my daughter. It's just too painful. But on those occasions when it just can't be avoided, those good samaritans make a HUGE difference. Thank god for them. Truly. I hope I can be that person to some crazed mother someday.
I am glad to know that I am not the only one who feels like this.
I say we leave the kids at home to fend for themselves and we go shopping......
I get lots of questions and funny looks too...and unsolicited advice, which totally pisses me off and turns me instajerk on the poor unsuspecting soul.
I usually get the "better YOU than me" comments. Not.helpful.at.all.thank.you.
Often when I go out with my crew I find that strangers can make or break my day (even though I try to just get over it and not let it affect me).
I think people just need to remember the old rule; if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all.
Oh Jen, these people are gems! And there always seem to be one. What do happen to me often is older people that are so helpful.
Sorry some people are difficult. When I am out walking with the twins I nanny for it amazes me how many people stop and ask questions about them being twins. I don't blame them I like ooing and awwing at cute babies too.
I love shopping too! I hate shopping with kids though. One thing about living so far from my girlfriends is I don't have anyone to shop with. Especially me and my sister used to love shopping together, even window shopping.
Most of the time I try to help but every now & again when I'm having a bad day, I find myself being one of those rolly-eyed people.
And then an instasecond later I feel bad.
Unless of course I'm justified b/c the kids are just being hellions and the parent is browsing sweaters completely oblivious to her daughters running among the racks in Target and nearly getting knocked out by a buggy or two. I mean hypothetically of course. :)
I try and be one of the good people when I can... though I usually have my two (I know not as many as you) so I am usually the one needing help :)
But those kind people, the kind words, the kind smiles can make everything okay.
Kind people make life, well, more than just ok :o)
We get the same thing. The "jewels" as far as people go are rare! The meanies are definitely more abundant!
What is up with those people? I remember when my girls were little...they despised wearing socks. Would scream if you put one on. I cannot tell you how many helpful people tried to tell me that my daughter would be cold...sick...abused because I didn't make her wear socks.
Those unexpected gestures of kindness are wonderful!
I never really gave it a thought until I broke my arm, and the entire post office just watched me struggle with four packages....and the one person who came to my rescue (barely in time to stop the flow of tears!) was a woman who was simultaneously helping me while corraling four children.
I love magical people like that. Some people are so crazy! I don't like mean people at all. I hope your week is filled with many more wonderful people!
Isn't it nice to know that people like that still exist in today's world??
I have taken a vow to NEVER judge people at the store... I suppose my two boys have helped me with that pledge. :o)
It's sad that so many people are rude that when a nice one comes along you nearly faint. Nice, helpful people can really make your day.
I get the "my your hands are full" and I only have two (it's usually when Tristan is wiggling in my arms and that by itself is a handful with his 45 pounds). :) But I, too, love the kindness of strangers.
I usually let Tristan run around the store when we only have a few things to get. If we have a LIST, he rides in the cart.
Sometimes I hate people and sometimes I am surprised. It should be the other way around, shouldn't it?
I only have two kids, but I am most always horrified by how unkind strangers can be when it's obvious a parent needs help. I have had all 9 of my hands full at the airport more than once and always marvel at how many people will walk right by without any regard. Those special ones that even offer a smile have no idea how meaningful it is. You're right on with this one. It makes me sad that it's true.
I'm glad that you experience some good with the bad. It still amazes me the rude/personal comments you get from strangers.
The only comments I ever got that annoyed me was when people assumed I was my oldest daughters Nanny! :)
I'm not a fan of shopping with my kids either. But more often than not, they're with me. Well, Natalie is at least. Tommy is usually in school when I shop but Natalie is the one I dread taking out because she's two. And loud.
We all rely on these angels .... and I do believe they are out there and that is why I will always believe that the world is a good and happy place.
People who roll their eyes and scoff probably do not have children, and if for some tragic reason they do...I feel sorry for the kids.
I have a hard enough time with my three and they are nicely spread apart. You, my bloggy friend are awesome. I promise if I see you in a store I will help and not roll my eyes.
Oh yeah, and you can do my grocery shopping anytime you want. I hate that chore.
Some people really can be amazingly rude sometimes! Thank goodness there are some great ones to balance things out. :D
Here's what i think... I think it's people like you or me, who are out without kids, that when we see mommies struggling, we step in, because we know :)
I know i do it all the time (and i always worry that the mom thinks I'm a crazy lady making her kids laugh. LOL)It's nice to know some people do appreciate that help :)
I never turn down help... and get so darn annoyed when people whisper under their breath w/o offering anything except unsolicited advice.
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