The Sarcastic Parent

"Jeff, can you please take the Christmas tree box down stairs?" I asked.

He had finished lunch and the little kids were climbing in the box and I didn't want it to get ruined so that we could use it to pack away the tree.

"Um, what? Yeah, sure," Jeff said half listening to me half watching the TV.

It doesn't matter what is on TV, Jeff is always distracted by it. He always stops everything to watch it. Jeff will walk into a room with the TV on and you can almost hear his neck snap as whips around to watch it.

Me, on the other hand, it is just back ground noise. I can pay attention to whats going on around me and the TV but not Jeff, with him its one of the other.

Once, I got Jeff's full attention and once again asked him to take the Christmas tree box downstairs. He went over, picked up the box and walked through the kitchen. As he passed through, he told Hayden, "I am going to quickly walk by with this big box so you won't be able to see the TV for a minute."

Hayden, who has much the same problem with the TV as his Dad, didn't comprehend what Jeff said because as Jeff walked by him and blocked his view, he screamed "DAD! DAD! I CAN'T SEE THE TV! DAD! I CAN'T SEE!"

I snickered a little because, its sorta funny to me that Hayden is so much like Jeff and Jeff gets a taste of what I deal with when I talk to him when he is talking to Hayden. I watched Jeff turned around, to what I assumed would be to repeat to Hayden his earlier warning.

Much to my surprise, it really shouldn't have been a surprised knowing Jeff, Jeff started dancing and swinging the large Christmas tree box back and forth all while asking, "Hayden, can you see if I stand over here? What about over here? What about if I hold it on my head? Can you see now?"

I couldn't help but laugh and soon but not after a couple of protests, Hayden was laughing too. And with that Jeff went downstairs with the box. Hayden and I stopped laughing and he went back to watching his show.

But Jeff was not done.

Once Jeff came back up stairs, he again stood in Hayden's view of the TV.

"Hey, Jen? Have I ever showed you how I stretch in the morning?"

And with that Jeff raised his hands over his head, began to jump around from side to side, stretching his body as big as he could make it. I knew his plan was to totally be in Hayden's way and it was working.

Hayden was trying so hard to move in the opposite direction that Jeff was so that he could see the TV but which ever way Hayden moved, Jeff went that way too.

But Jeff was so ridiculous looking with his 'stretching' that both Hayden and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. And soon, Jeff himself was laughing and he had to stop. I looked up at Jeff and smiled.

"What?" He asked me trying to look like he didn't do anything wrong.

I answered him with the statement that had been running through my head this whole time, "So this is what its like when a sarcastic, a-hole becomes a parent."