I always try to be kind, nurturing and loving. But I do want to be obeyed when I have to lay down the law. Since I am with the kids most often, this should be no problem. They should have no issue listening and obeying. What I say is the law, no if ands or butts.
I am the supreme ruler, right!?!
Not exactly.
It annoys me to no end that when Jeff comes hope the kids come to attention and listen up. He says things once, ONCE I tell you, and they all fall into line, knees a knockin'.
They obey on the first command but with me, I can scream in their faces and they just smile and giggle. (No, I don't really scream in their faces but you get the idea)
Or there is this, Grandpa says "No!" from across the room and the kids stop and just about crap themselves. Why don't I have that kind of power, I am the mother for goodness sakes?
I said Hayden's name 17 times (yes, I actually counted) once before he looked up at me and replied, "What? What, Mom? Can't you see I am busy."
Seriously, he is 4. What is going to happen when he is 14. And then there is the babies. Now they can't really talk just yet but they show their defiance too. I ask them to come here and they run the other direction or when I say "No" to Claire, she will point her little finger at me and say "No!" right back.
It is infuriating!!!!
I am pulling my hair out over here. Please tell me I am not the only one. How do I get these kids to listen to me and take me seriously? Should I start getting testosterone injections for the deeper more manly voice?
Want to enter my giveaway? Go here.
36 comments:
it's totally because we moms voices don't actually work full time on our kids...this is my theory of course. so, i think some days, we think we are saying words and nothing is coming out of our mouths...sometimes it's only the words they want to hear...scientists call it "don't care-ism". yep...we have it here too!
I was just thinking something along these lines yesterday. I swear my daughter doesn't hear me at all. Honest to goodness, some days I think she has a hearing problem.
They hear your voice so much they've just learned to tune it out. LOL
I hear you...if you find the answer or happen upon a magic wand let me know!
you are not the only one! i've started this: when my kiddies won't listen, i'll either pick up the cell phone and "pretend" to call their daddy (he works at a prison and can't get personal, non-emergency calls) to report to him the offense, or i'll make a list of the things they are doing to give him when he comes home. so far, that has worked great!!! don't know if it will work with yours because they are so much younger than my two (mine are 9 and almost 6), but it's worth a shot.
i hate that they don't listen to me, but i'm glad i have the support of my husband on this one!
Oh gosh yes, I sometimes feel I am too strict and sometimes that I a definetly too slack because all of a sudden no one listens to me.
Ugh. That is no fun! To be honest, my mom used to scare me more than my dad though because she used to freak out and yell at us. Not that you want to use scare tactics, but we always knew she meant business.
I feel your pain. I wish I knew what to do bc my own life would be a lot less infuriating. You'll be the first one I tell if I find the answer and I better be on your list if you get it, mkay?
It's totally because they tune you out -- just like blue violet said!
When you hear that same person all the time it lacks the punch that a less frequent disciplinarian delivers. And gradnparents? The whole treating our elders with respect thing gives them double powers. Just be consistent with your message and foolow through if there is a consequence. Don't threaten to take something away and not follow through!!
Same problem here. I know exactly how you feel, and I haven't any solutions. Best of luck.
For those of you who don't know, I'm the one they listen to. While I take exception to the phrase "knees a knockin'" (Daddy's fun, too), the kids do pay better attention to me -- I still have to repeat myself, but certainly not on the order of 17 times. Jen and I were discussing this over the weekend, and I have 2 theories on this behavior.
The first is that the kids are around Jen so much that like some have commented, they just tune out the sound of her voice -- they've become desensitized to her, the same way parents can become desensitized to the noise level generated by their own offspring.
The second is less straightforward, but indirectly related to the amount of time spent with the children. I'm probably more strict than Jen -- while we agree on the principles of discipline and we discuss anything out of the ordinary, we vary slightly in our implementation. I'm probably stricter to begin with, but Jen will sometimes "give up" and move on if the infraction is minimal. And she does this because she's tired -- raising 4 children is draining. I come home from a day at work with the energy and the mindset to follow through on every admonition, and as a result, the children are more apt to obey me. With Jen, there's a chance they may have worn her down enough that they will be allowed to carry on -- with me, its simply not an option.
The real experiment would be to see if I could keep that energy level up day after day if Jen and I switched roles.
One could read this post and take it as me saying,"Well, if I was home all day, I'd do it like this..." This couldn't be further from the truth. Jen works her tail off all day every day, and on the whole, our children are very well-behaved. She does a great job. Hayden (and to a lesser extent, the triplets) know exactly what is expected of them and what happens when those expectations aren't met. When I come home and start "laying down the law", I'm not cleaning up after her -- I'm trying to give her a few minutes where she can sit back, maybe chew her food, and say "Yes" for a change.
I feel your pain. I can yell at them 20 times about the same thing. My hubby says something once and they stand at attention!
Nothing agrivates me more than the fact that the SAME EXACT thing happens in our house. I think it's because I am the one who is with Caleb more that he has such selective hearing and doing! It drives me up a freakin wall! Danny walks thru the door and can reduce Caleb to tears without so much as hardly even raising his voice, it's a dad thing I think, but just once, oh just once I wish I had that superpower!!!
i wish i had advice, but the same thing holds true over here. plus, they also listen to lydia. i think for us, it is because i am with them all the time while john + lydia are not. i have no clue though.
You are not alone! But I'm not so sure how to fix it!
I always thought I would be the disciplinarian. But in order to be an effective disciplinarian, my child needs to listen to me. I suppose screaming "LISTEN TO ME" isn't a viable option. I tried. It didn't work. Husband has never had to try that tactic.
YEah, bummer! Let me know if you discover the secret! My little guy is doing this already! I say "No" loudly, firmly, and he laughs.
My husband says "no" and Joseph bursts into tears!
Not fair, not fair, not fair...
When the girls were really little and I found that they were ignoring me I would say in a real quite voice, "Do you want a piece of chocolate?" Needless to say they ALWAYS heard that!!
Now that is my way of busting them. :)
I'm a firm believer in the 1, 2, 3 rule. If I count to three and you are not doing what you are told them there will be trouble.
Thank god they never got to 3 because I never actually had a punishment in mind.
I am much better at getting the kids at school to listen than I am at home...
I have the same situation here too! I think they just tune out the female voice for some reason! It drives me crazy!!!
If you're starting a support group, I'm in!
You are not alone!! My 4-yr olds don't listen to me either. I seriously have to repeat my son's name over and over for him to finally turn his head and say "were you talking to me?". Selective hearing is hereditary I think since my husband does the same exact thing!
Good luck.
My son is just getting this phase.
Please let me know if you learn anythng useful.
I'm thinking I need hormone therapy as well b/c my kids never listen to me either.
Hey, how'd you become a Welcomista on SITS? I haven't noticed that before.
You need a deeper voice. That's the ticket!
Have no kids, but can tell you it works the same with the dog. *sigh*
Mine doesn't listen to me either. My husband doesn't have to repeat himself and it drives me insane! My kiddo knows it too.
Yeah, if you find a magical answer, please pass it along. PLEASE.
It is the same here! My husband gets immediate results and obedience and I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall. My husband says it is because I cave too easily and my son knows it so he pushes me around.
He may be right.
Hmmm... it's was the opposite when I was married... the girls knew daddy was all bark and no bite.
No, you are not alone! My girls do the same thing.
The one that bothers me the most is at bedtime, especially with M. I put her to bed, tuck her in and all that... she gets out of bed at least 3 or 4 times. Saying she needs a drink of water, or her tummy hurts. But when Shane puts her to bed, she stays in her bed, not once getting out for any reason.
Irks me to no end...
That use to happen around here until I went out of town and left the kids with my husband. Now they ignore him to.
Good luck!
Everyone is drowning out my voice here too. I am outnumbered and they seem to know it :-)
I always say - Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me!! - I threaten to call daddy - and they are screaming - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
They get desensitized to us yelling all the time. But someone else who isn't scolding all day gets their attention. It is so not fair but a fact of life.
I have the same problem! Would love to tell you it gets better but....
Oh, I'm so glad someone else suffers the same fate with this as me! I think kids tune out our frequency, actually. The Mom Frequency.
Post a Comment