I am a nurse. I have been for some time and I love my profession. I really, really do. As a nurse, it is my job to take care of people and a lot of times that means taking care of people's private parts. I often have clean it, put tubes in it and just examine it if it is not functioning correctly.
It has been my experience that women have no issue with this. It is just par for the course, maybe it has something to do with child birth, who knows.
Now men on the other hand, men have a HUGE issue with this. They get all silly and begin to act like little children. They whine and cry when I go near it or start to giggle when I talk about their penis.
It is really no big deal to me. A penis is a penis is a penis. I have seen more penis' than a stripper in Las Vegas ever will. It is just another part of the body like an arm or toe. I am a professional after all.
Even with that in mind, men just don't handle this well, especially the older men. They seem to forget that I am a professional and I am not there to judge, rate or compare their penis. It is not like I am going to take one look at it and then run and go tell my friends about it. It really is not that interesting, trust me.
But no matter how I conduct myself, there always has to be the comment. Most men must make a comment about it.
For example:
"Sorry its so small."
"It used to not look like that, back in the day it was an outstanding specimen."
"Please don't laugh."
"Don't worry, my equipment hasn't worked right in years."
"Bet you have not ever seen one like this before."
"I don't even know if I know where to find it."
"Its been some time since a women was around those parts."
Now, sure these comments are funny but think about how they are said to me. They are said when I have my hand on or around a penis. It is not a comfortable position to be in the first place and these comments don't help.
Sometimes I think that men make these comments as a joke, to lighten the tension but all it does is create more tension and make an award experience more award.
Besides, whatever they say, I am not going to respond. I just keep my eyes down and continue working. Its not like I am going to bust out with, "Don't worry you're not really all that small. The guy in room 12, now he's got a small penis. And the guy in room 21 is hung like a horse."
I would never say those things in front of a patient. I am going to save those comments for the break room where we sit around and compare all the penis' that we have seen.
Because we have nothing better to talk about.
Deux par Deux Has The Cutest Kid Clothes
4 days ago
48 comments:
I never thought about this aspect of being a nurse.
Yes, men are like children..especially when it comes to that thing that they rate their success in the world on...their penis. (lol)
OMG! So funny! I can just see all of the nurses comparing old man penis' in the staff room!!!!
Touching old man penis'. This is one of the reasons I decided not to go to nursing school........
ROTF! Hilarious. I think all men are obsessed with their equipment...and will never understand why we really don't care!
Haha! I am a nurse as well.. and this post was so on.. and I totally laughed!!!
Wow, I'm sorry that they have to say things that make you uncomfortable like that but...those are hilarious! OMG, I would never have the restraint to be a nurse. I would totally crack up.
It's good that people like you exist to handle these delicate situations with more grace. And then blog about it. ;)
I honestly don't think I could be professional about that at all. I'd make a smart aleck comment back to them or something. Giggle at the very least.
Oh gosh Jen, I admire your courage. But yes, of course we woman have nothing better to talk about, do we?
LMAO! Men are so funny about their parts.
I'm just glad women don't equate their sense of selves with their vaginas!
OMG these are so funny! I can't even imagine having my hands there and them making comments like that. hahahaha but we all know men live their lives around their "packages". lol
Oh my gosh!! That is so funny!! Reason Number 5016 why I didn't become a nurse:-)
Oh my goodness! My sister-in-law is a RN and she often tells me how embarrassing the job can be... I kindly ask her to refrain from details, but I can only imagine the stuff y'all put up with! It must still be hard sometimes, regardless of how professional you are, to continue working after some of the comments I am sure you have inevitably received. I debated going to nursing school back in HS, as well as Med school, but I just wouldn't be able to deal with situations like that. I would always be bright red! :)
I'm now following you, too! I LOVE your blog. :) I also became a follower on Twitter [I'm NEMapleQtee] - thanks for stopping by! xoxo.
Lol! I officially do not want your job now :)
Good stuff! I think it would be interesting to see lots of penises... My experience with them is VERY limited (which is a good thing). But still, it would certainly be interesting.
Oh my word. I don't ever want to be a nurse. =)
Thanks for the laugh!!!!
I KNOW!!! Men are such babies!!! My favorite comment of all time is so cliche
"Sure is cold in here..." Dude i could care less if the thing is small, i gotta ass to wipe in the next room and just don't care.
Now i will say..... there have been a few in my time i have not minded looking at..... not that i did or anything....... :)
Priceless!
I'm sure most are trying to break the tension but still...akward!
It's like at the gyno...I never talk during my exam cause the last thing I want to do is talk about my summer vacay while you're all up in my hooha.
I can only imagine. My dad a stroke a few years ago and the comments he was making to his nurse when he was still out of it totally embarassed me.
Now. IS there a huge range in penis size? :)
Oh my goodness.... this post was so funny! You are a professional for sure... I LOVE and adore and respect nurses so much. To hear the things you hear!!! OMG!!! How do you keep a straight face and not answer back? I guess years of experience, right?
I love the "Please don't laugh..." I would have laughed at him just making that comment! This was a funny post!!
Soooooo---my man is a critical care nurse in the ER. Does this mean I need to be havin' a discussion with him about what he is discussin' in the break room with all the male fellows?!!!
HIlarious! I don't know how you do it- those comments would just make everything so much worse! Agh!
Men and their penises...
OMG! I am sooo glad I didn't have a mouthful of water or diet coke. It would be all over my screen! Haha. Oh men. What funny creatures they are.
I have a surprise for you at my blog.
Too funny.
"Please don't laugh." See, that probably WOULD make me laugh.
How can you not laugh?? LOL
"I bet you've never seen one like this before." Oh my god, I would not be able to keep myself from laughing. Especially if the guy was like 90.
Nice chatting with at lunchtime today;o
"Sorry it's so small...." hahaha! Because you were hoping for bigger, right?
Too funny!
LMAO!!! I just had my hubby read this...as a warning to make sure he doesn't make some stupid comment if he's ever the patient in that position! ha!
Do men really do that?
WEird!!
Sometimes you just need to hear it... You are a beautiful woman, inside & out. You are an exquisite mother, who can make a way out of no way. YOU ARE A GREAT MOM !!! You are doing a fantastic job and are very loved!!!♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ post this on the blog of moms...Mom's who always put their kids first and who balance it all. I just did!
Men are strange birds. Can you even imagine a woman saying anything close in comparison? Yeah. Me either!
Oh my! I can't believe they say stuff like that. I go into full denial during pelvic exams and talk about the weather or something.
My nurse, on the other hand, always has to comment to me. "Your cervix is so cute and perfect and pink!" she says, and I'm like: "(barf) so how about this weather?"
I have to say this is so funny, I have enjoyed your blog for the past few days I have been here. Thanks for all the laughs.
Ah, yes, our poor husbands.
I try to make Joe feel better about it and only tell him about the small ones, or even better, the "innies".
Did you ever imagine this part of being a nurse when you were in school? 'Cause I sure didn't!
Oh man, how do you keep a straight face though when someone says those things, especially "sorry it's so small"? Maybe that's why you're the nurse and I'm not. I don't see how I could stop myself from giggling!
Odd how life as a mother with boys sounds similar to life as a nurse. Talk of size, penises and other peoples' penises are common ground for dinner conversation
Hey Jen, its Emily, Lisa's friend, she told me about your blog, and it is hilarious! Just so you know, they're obsessed with penises in the neonatal world too... for example, a family asks, "so will he get circumcised today?" He is a 1 1/2 lb brand new 24 weeker... he's got nothing to cut people! Or the dads that ask if their little boys junk is good sized, and I think, he's a preemie, nothing is good sized! One of my best times was when one of our now retired neonatologist picked up the extra small circumcision kit, and looked at me and said in his easter european accent, "Don't tell his dad!" I'm pretty sure the penises are a universal obsession!
Well you know men and their parts. They find them to be much more interesting than they actually are. I think they are trying to make themselves more comfortable, and that might actually work, even if it is making you more uncomfortable in the process. They are probably paranoid about becoming aroused. I think for women it's just run of the mill, we go every year, we're used to it. And given the fact that by and large your profession is female, that's just an added sense of familiarity. :) Those comments were hilarious though, you know... from an outsider without a random stranger's junk in my hands. hehe
I would have a hard time not laughing.. you see I always laugh when it's not the "right"time, it's a nervous thing, know the kind? laugh at funerals, in the middle of Marriage ceremonies, and most often have my father to blame for egging it on-but I cannot control it, the tears are rolling down my face and everyone is looking and there I am hysterical. So glad you can handle it :)
oy.....Just once.....you should say just that, "Don't worry you're not really all that small. The guy in room 12, now he's got a small penis. And the guy in room 21 is hung like a horse."
still trying not to laugh.
Lmao...I used to work in a grocery store and men would come in and buy tampons or "personal hygene creams" (as they called them), and then as you're checking them out they make sure to let you know that it's not for them! Really?
Tampons and yeast infection medicine?? I' glad they let me know it wasn't for me...I might have been confused if they hasn't!
hehehehehehehe!
oh my gosh...I am absolutely laughing my butt of.
Bwahahahahahahaha!
I remember when I was 21 and had to cath the cutest guy ever! I was mortified and I am sure he was too! However, I do not remember details of his penis :)
And then another guy, a 40ish alcoholic, had a condom cath that he kept pulling off and I kept putting on. He said "If you touch it again I am going to turn as hard as this rail" ...nice. BTW:he died that night...no, I had nothing to do with it
Thanks for a good laugh...giggle!
I can only imagine... men can be such little boys... everything relates back to their privates in some form or another! I think women are just more business oriented- kinda like "Do what you must- just try and leave me some dignity!" :)
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