It is not something that I am proud of but I think that I have to put it out there.
Please don't hate me, hiss or boo at me. I feel that this place is a safe place where I can be loved and excepted.
Ok *big sigh* Here is goes. I am just going to say it, you know like this was an AA meeting or something.
*stands up*
Hi, my name is Jen and I am a mommy that doesn't read to her kids.
*whew*
There I said. Man, that is like a weight has been lifted. I feel so much better. But I also feel that I need to explain myself.
Alright, so the truth is that I don't read to my kids often. Its not like I out right refuse to read to them but it is something that I really don't enjoy. But I used to.
When Hayden was little I used to read to him all the time. It was something that I really enjoyed doing. We would sit and look at books together for hours, well not hours but many, many minutes. He especially liked the flip books. We would open each flap and talk about what was under each one. It was really fun.
Well, the little kids, Jake, Quinn and Claire, really like these kinds of books too. And I like to read and share these books with them but there is one problem. I have one lap and there are three of them.
Things usually start out really well. One of them will be in my lap and the other two will be on each of my sides. We begin reading and talking about the pictures when one of the kids sees something that they especially like and want to get a closer look at. That onne gets really excited and begins to push at the person in my lap which is then interpreted as a threat, meaning that they are being challenged for the place in my lap. The shoving begins, then the hitting, which usually includes me getting hit in the nose, and lastly the screaming match over who's mommy I am.
"MY MOMMY!"
"NO, MY MOMMY!"
"MY MOMMY!"
"NO, MY MOMMY!!"
"MY MOMMY!"
"NO, MY MOMMY!!!"
Well, you get the picture. And this all ends with me getting so irritated that I push the kids off my lap and leave.
I am really hoping that this is just a phase and they will grow out of it because I would like to read to them, really I would but not if they keep choosing this one book for me to read.
This is my second reason that I don't like to read to my kids.
Every.single.time I say to them, "Hey guys, do you want to read a book?" It never fails that they will find this book and bring it to me. They just love it but I can't stand it and if I have to read it one more time, I am not sure what I will do.
I have tried to hide this book. I have tried to give it away and I have even tried to throw it was but each and every time my efforts have failed. I don't know how they do it. There must be some kind of alarm or censor on the book that alerts them to what I am try to do.
What is this book that I speak of? Well it is 'Night-Night, Baby' a touch and feel book.
Seriously, its not even a story book. It is just a book that lists all the things that babies do before bed."Time for dinner!"
"Can you feel the bib on the baby?"
"Bath time is with a rubber ducky to play with"
"It's so shiny."
"The bath is over."
"Now we get dry!"
"Feel how fluffy the bathmat is." and so on.
Each picture, which I am pretty sure is older than me, has a texture to it that they can feel so maybe that's why they like it. But I just don't get it and I think that they babies in it are kind of creepy looking. I am pretty sure that I saw one of the babies move its eyes to watch me.
*shudder*
So there now you all know my dirty little secret. I am not proud of it but this is the way its has to be, right now. I am just thankful for daycare and school because I know that they are reading to them and nurturing their little minds. Because I am not, well at least in this area.
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52 comments:
I'm with you. Was just telling my friend the other day that having a smarty pants baby who wants to read CONSTANTLY (like for hours every day) is a friggin' curse! Because he has to pick the book all the time and he always picks one of like 5 that he has in his favorites list. And they are all the same (required to be read all silly, with a rhyme, etc). Or, they are about space. Like a technical book about space...BORING! And, if I'm busy with like "cooking" or "cleaning" he will stand there and scream at me to "WEED BOOK MOMMY, WEEEEEEED BOOOOOOK!". It's exhausting that's what it is. Exhausting.
I think any normal person would get sick of reading a book like that!
Oh Jen! That fight over whose Mommy you are ... I don't think ANYONE could criticize you for not reading to your kids when you've got THAT to contend with!
Nat (at least) needs people other than me to learn from. And your triplets will be none the worse for having daycare and school providing the Reading part of their development.
And if you avoid getting hit on the nose while three two-year-olds sit in your lap fighting over whose you are, then that's a good thing.
PS I totally LOVE your triplets by the way. If we lived closer, I'd babysit - honestly I would - they seem like a whole heap of good fun along with the tricky parts.
I'm not into reading books to my kids either, which is kind of weird because I LOVE to read. My little one will pick up a book and take it to his Dad to read. He hardly ever brings one to me. I guess he can sense that I don't really want to do it.
I get it. There are so many things I did with my older children that I don't do anymore! I have a confession.. I hate the park... hate it hate it hate it!! 5min there and I am ready to go! So, you are not alone!
LOL! Try substituting Pat the Bunny. Similar idea, but at least a little variety in the touch and feel.
I hide books I'm tired of reading. I rotate the books in my son's bedroom and put the rest in a closet.
We have that book too! I admit, I dont read to my youngest but with the other two I did every single night! Ugh.
Don't feel bad. I don't really enjoy reading to my kids either.
I laughed so hard at this post. No judgments from this corner if you want to avoid reading to thus avoid getting whacked in the nose! :) I hope they calm down - especially if this is something you like to engage them in - or you could come up with some creative way to hide it. Or tell them Santa came and wanted to read it too and it is now in the North Pole. Who knows. I'm not a Momma yet, so I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas. :)
You know, I used to feel guilty because I didn't read to Bea until about 2 months ago. The girl is 8 months old. She is more interested in eating the book that listening to me read it to her.
But I have to say, I love the touchy books.
It's fine, I don't do crafts with my kids. I don't have the patience. I figure they can do the craft thing at school.
I do read to my kids but it's not easy. Natalie snatches the book from my hand half the time so I rarely read it all the way through.
Mine was that horrible "Good Night Moon." I read it once and despised it. Kids loved it. I threw it away. My son found it and took it out (who knew 3 year olds searched trash cans?!?!) Threw it away again. Someone gifted my daughter with one. Threw it away. I think it's like the doll in the horror movies that keeps coming back and never dies...because there is a copy on the bookshelf. Seriously. How does it do that?!?! We have an uneasy truce now - it agrees to not be read and I agree to let it take up space on the shelf...but some day, I'll be able to get rid of it once and for all. I'm just lulling it into a false sense of security. *insert evil laugh*
Don't feel bad...I too am a Mommy who can't stand reading to my sons.
I am sure it has something to do with the autism and how they want to read the same line of the same book over and over and over and over...well, you get the idea.
It will go like that for every single book they bring me. Just a certain sentence in a single book over and over and ov....there I go again.
So, now I run for the hills (the bathroom) every time I see them going through their books because I know what is coming next.
I can relate, when mine were young, if I read one or two books, they'd bring me a pile of 14...I wanted to run and hide in the closet, lol!
I feel your pain.
No worries...
Everyone has their "chore" with Motherhood...
mine is constantly having to be a referee!
Whew! So it's not just me? It's sooo much harder to read to my triplet boys than to my daughter. They push and shove and try to tear the pages from the book, the book from my hands.
I try to make the effort by reading while they are in their highchairs for snacks. And thankfully they can't pick the books yet.
We also have that Night, Night Baby book. I need to throw it out before the boys get old enough to ask for it.
The baby on the bathmat is the creepiest of the lot. Seriously. Yikes.
Thanks for the laugh.
Christy
VERY SIMILAR to my 4 littles on my lap. They all get to bring one book so I read 4 at a time. If they argue, I too GET UP & story time is OVER! They are learning and doing much better now :) The older they get, the more they will understand. HUGS!
Yes there are definitely certain books that they want over and over and that I just shudder every time I have to read.
I still just have to the two so reading still works for us, and I would much rather read than drive cars again.
I do enjoy reading to Maggie -- of course I just have the 1!! However, I do not like that she will decide on a book of the month and we read it over and over and over and over until she really could "read" it back to me. I need to figure out how to get her to rotate her stories.
I know just what you mean about the fight over your ap. My kids did it too. Lucky for me, all but two of them are now too big to sit on my lap, and really too big to listen to picture books, too. What I can't stand is making up stories. Give me a book to read, pray I stay awake, and I'm good.
Have you considered a different position, like sitting in front of the group of them and reading? Or all of you laying on your tummies together? Taking the battle field of your lap out of the equation might help. :)
I love it when you remind me that I'm not the only imperfect mom out there.
=)
Although, you are pretty darn close!
Get rid of the demon book!
Love the honesty. I am SO relieved that The Athlete reads to himself now. The Princess would rather color or look at her self in the mirror so I am safe most nights. I'll break down every now and then when I feel like my bad Mommy points are really adding up and I'll read to them both. It's sorta sad how much they like it!!
a lot of times, I just forget or else I get sick of reading the same book 15 times. ugh
i think this is my third time by your blog and i'm 3 for 3. i like you're writing style.
as far as the topic... my goodness can we relate. only not to the full extent as we don't have readers. reading for our 2 year old BBG is often misconstrued as RIPPING--a la ripping off the cover of books over which they fight in spite of the fact they can't read a lick.
but the real thing we can relate to is the never ending battle over mommy. they follow around Lovie like she's a rock star. i've given the sensation a name. momma-palooza.
your secret of not reading to your kids is safe with me. but not only is it safe, your motives are understood.
great post, my friend. -jco-
Yeah, hands on, touchy tactile books great for one child....more than one? A feeding frenzy of hitting, screeching, kicking and something licking...I know, I taught pre-school once and mistakenly tried to read one of these books. Scarred me for life...
Good Night Moon was the one I didn't want to read. I know every mom usually likes to read that one to thier kids but it got so old after the 2nd child came along.
I understand your pain!
Reading has always been my husband's special thing. So, I don't get to read to my daughter as much as I would like. For that, she likes Daddy better. Try to swallow that:-)
Certainly there are different rule for people with triplets. I don't think reading is required because of the whole one lap three kids thing. I won't judge.
lol...i know the feeling...mason's obsessed with this shark book and it has the most gruesome pictures in it, but he LOVES it! but now that he's 6 i can use the excuse, well how are you going to practice reading if i'm always the one reading? genius!
We have this book! And it was totally a favorite in our house too!
People say enjoy it while it lasts because it goes so fast. However, there are those parts that are just hard. I say take it one day at a time and fall back on knowing that there will always be a fresh new day ahead of you. Sounds like you're a great mom!
I'm sooo with you on the book thing. Jayden ALWAYS picks the 'big' book which consists of Dr. Suess (a.k.a. evil toungue twister man) and they are like 30 pages long..SERIOUSLY!
I actually really enjoy reading to my daughter, but she will not sit still for it. It's maddening.
I hear ya. I have actually witnessed a fist fight over who would sit on my lap for story time. We now have new rules. Everybody sits in front of mommy while reads and then shows the picture for everybody to see. Even that only works 50% of the time.
Girl, if I has the number of kids you do not only would I probably not read to them but I probably wouldn't feed them either :) LOL. You're the best!!!!!!!!!!!
I can totally relate to this, especially when my twins were younger. It was such a chore and not fun at all. I think that is why I'm enjoying being with Nathan so much, he's my last and it's not such a pain to do anymore.
I hate reading to the kids. It kills my voice. I don't like what they pick. I am tired. I am ready for them to go to bed. Whatever. All of those things. I just don't like to do it. And then I read a study that says if you are a reader...if you provide a household that loves books. Has books. Appreciates the love of reading. Your children will catch that bug too...and you don't have to read to them for it to be contagious.
And now? Many years later. I'd say it is true. Both of my girls are AVID readers...without me reading to them. There is hope!!
Yet another reason why I absolutely adore you!! That's exactly how it is in our house too...exact same thing. They're always fighting over who sits on my lap, who turns the pages, which book will be read in what order...and then they pick something like "My Word Book" that has no story whatsoever.
To avoid all that, we've been letting the kids put on "concerts" in the evening before bedtime where they each get to do a 60-second performance in front of everyone. They can either show us a book, sing, dance...whatever. So far, so good...but it's only a matter of time before this, too, blows up in my face.
I thought I had it rough with my kid 2 and kid 3 and their sib rivalry. They are 5 years apart. It never occurred to me the kind if rivalry 3 the same age could dish out. I wouldn't enjoy reading either.
That's what the older kids are for. He/she can read to the little one(s) when you've had enough. I have 2, and the oldest reads to the youngest. Both of them occupied=a few minutes of mommy free time!
Oh I know! I actually love to read to my kids, give a voice to every character, etc - but the fighting also gets to me. What to some extend is a saving grace in that Little man L does not like being read to.
The textures are probably what they like about it. Why don't you just choose a book to read to them, one YOU want to read? Maybe even read three and switch who gets to be on your lap each time.
Visiting from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Here's my link to the prompt I did: http://zemeks.blogspot.com/2010/01/best-part-of-winter-writers-workshop.html
lol....we actually read all the time...but it IS tough to juggle them in the lap!
Have you tried the Tag readers by Leap Frog?? Those are pretty cool. we got our kids the Tag Jr for CHristmas and they are enjoying that...and it allows them to 'read' it by themselves!
sofia's big thing right now is "sit. sit. sit. book. book. book. mommy. mommy." all the girls are major avid readers...maybe bc i make them have reading time. a little force never killed anyone...maybe? and i wouldn't worry...your kids have you and that's way more important.
Had I known there was a support group for this, I would have joined years ago!!
That's why I love having older kids (sometimes...) I can force THEM to read to their little brother!
LOL!
Hi, my name is Debi and I don';t read as much to my twins as I should for the exact same reason! I can not stand the fighting. (can't tell you how many times I have been hit in the face by a book as they fight over my lap! Good times.)
I feel like I'm reading about myself in the first few sentences of your blog. When I grew up my parents never read to me (it's just not part of our asian culture) and now I can't even sleep if I don't read first no matter how dead tired I am. When my son was smaller I tried to read with him although he'd ended up trying to chew the heck of out of his books. Now that he's 3 years old, I just don't have the patience to sit and read for him since he'd ask me 'what's this, mommy?' like a million times and i had to answer him another million times before he'd stop, we could never finish the book and this made me feel like other moms will stone me to death if they found out. I do miss those rare moments where he'd just sit on my lap and I can read the whole book without interruption LOL.
Whew! Glad you got that off your chest :)
When you explain it that way, I completely understand! Being the mommy to that many little ones has many many challenges!
When my kids had become old enough to read to me, I used to fall asleep in the middle of the books. My bad.
I don't remember B being obessed with any one book but he did this with movies. Sometimes I thought I might go crazy if I heard the Veggietale theme song again. Funny part is now he is almost 10 and I heard a little 2 year old singing Veggietales over and over again in the grocery store and just smiled and told her mom, "I recognize Veggietales." and she just looked relived like she was not the only one stuck in this craziness.
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