Dearest Babies,
There is an issue that we need to discuss. I am not going to talk about how cranky you have been lately for me but when I leave you with the sitter you are as good as gold. I can except that you save all the crabbiness for me. I am your mother and that just comes with the job. I know you are teething. It will pass.
What I want to talk about is your behavior when I change your diapers. I am especially talking to you, Jacob! First, lets get something straight. I do not like changing your diapers. In fact, I am counting down the days until you are potty trained. I change you because well, I have to. I don't remember being in diapers and I am thinking that it can't be comfortable to sit in your own poop all day. But from your actions, it seems like you would like to sit in it. Rather than having a freshly scented butt.
Enough all ready with the wiggling and squirming when I lay you down. Stop all the screaming and crying, I am pretty darn sure it does not hurt. And for the love of all things good,
STOP reaching around and playing in it. And flinging the poopy diaper across the room,
NEEDS to end
NOW! I can tolerate clean up your butt but I draw the line at scrubbing poop off the kitchen floor, table and walls. It ranks right up there with having my finger nails pulled out.
So if you could just lay still while I quick change the diaper and wipe your butt, that would be great. It would be over very quickly. I would not have to fight. There would be less crying on your part and cussing under my breath on mine. And life would be good.
I will give you a day or two to discuss this amongst yourselves and then I want to see change.
Love and Hugs to you all,
Momma
34 comments:
I love this post! If only it would work:-)
Good for you! Now NO one can say they didn't get the memo! ;-) Here's to hoping for easier diaper changes ahead!!!
PERFECT! LOL
Could you please send a copy of this to Emma & Will as well :)
Holy! I can't wait til they are potty trained!!! SHEESH!
:) Can I cc: Jackson on this memo?
Ew--flnging the dirty diaper across the room! I hope he reads your letter and makes the necessary changes--LOL!!
That's Dottie right now... Its so hard to clean a poopy moving target! Maddening!
Are you sure you haven't been changing my Cayden's diaper? I sware you described him to a tee!
I hate the exact same thing. I've had an idea and just haven't done it yet (It's been 3 years since I thought of this) how about if I put a hook in the ceiling directly above the change table, and hand a cord down to the change table which can have different toys fastened into it - something different for each change time so it never gets dull.
Too much bother to put to the test right now!
Let's face it, you're out numbered. They probably sit in their rooms at night and giggle about tossing the poopy diapers! Maybe that's what the "mooing" was about from their room!
In that stage right along with you! I think I need to post this on my fridge!
LOL -- I hope your letter works because I definitely can relate. What IS the obsession with playing in it????
Following In My Shoes
I love the "discuss amongst yourselves"! ha! I hear ya' - I practically kneel on my little one's arm to keep her in one place, and the little girl I watch digs in her poop. Absolutely disgusting. I actually threw up in my mouth during a recent diaper change debacle. Children are so lovely. (:
Triple yuck!
I feel for you. It was a fine day when T was potty trained and I only had one bottom to do. I am counting the days until I am done, but Z, not so much. He seems to want to hold onto this gig.
I'm sorry that it was necessary for your sanity to write this letter.
Funny and disgusting all in one. You're back to doing advertisments for contraception for this no-baby-yet woman.
I have a friend whose favourite job in the world as a mother is changing nappies.
WHO IS THIS MAD WOMAN?
Seriously, no one loves that job. It's the rubbish job you try to fob off on everyone, anyone and she's there offering to do it like it's the most fun.
She is quite normal too!
Oh how I remember these days!!! Some children became a full contact sport to change their diaper. Others went through phases of taking that diaper off and hiding it some place disgusting. Good news is....potty training pranks are just around the corner.
You are cracking me up! I love this post!
You'll have to let us know what they "decide".
Ewwwwwww!
I'm sorry.
And here I was hoping it would get better soon. *sighs*
If you could CC Tres on this that would be great!
And I'm with ya on the sticking your hands down there stuff - gross!
Wow, what timing. I think I changed my teething daughter's poopie diapers at least 10 times yesterday. Meaning: 10 separate poops, not including wet ones. She hates it and let's me know that. I detest it because she hates it so much.
Restraints would probably not be the best idea........but they would work :)
Good luck with the flingin poo!
LMAO!!
That is too funny!!
My son is a professional poop player with. Nmatter how I manage to pin his arms when I am changing him he still manges to get a hand in there.
hahaha! sounds just like our diaper changing wars around here...although we also utilize quite a bit of kicking :)
You want to see change? LOL
I remember those squirmy, gymnastic routine diaper changes. Whew. I used to have a toy bin by the diaper changer or on the floor just got this...or when desperate I'd take off my shiny watch and let them play with it for a brief respite.
Amen, sister! Sophie is doing the same thing these days and it s driving me CRAZY!
I dislike changing dirty diapers... and I can't imagine having to do it x3! Bless you! And Jeff, too.
Hope it gets better...
hows this working out for ya?
:)))
i SO feel you. besides being a mom of three, i taught the two year old preschool class for two years, talk about wiggling butts!!
Hehehe! Sorry, not funny to you, but funny to me!
LOL! That is hysterical! The day I changed my last diaper I was a happy woman. Granted you still have a few years of butt wiping once the diapers end, but at least it ain't smeared all over the place! Eww!
That is hilarious! I can *so* feel your pain.
See such antics as:
http://crumbsintheminivan.blogspot.com/2008/11/day-four-demon-diaperer.html
and
http://crumbsintheminivan.blogspot.com/2008/09/when-poop-hits-thewall.html
Do let me know if the letter-writing campaign works. I'd like to try it if it does.
Don't miss those days one bit:)
funny - don't all kids go through this though - just can't be bothered - so much to do - so much to see - so much stuff to lick and droll over!!!
oh my goodness.. I just laughed so hard! sorry I feel you, I do... it's just always so much funnier when it is someone else who gets an eyeful of poo...yup today I got an eyeful of poo...AND my toddler(it was the boy child who did it) LAUGHED until she cried...and then talked about it ALL. DAY! Mama Roscoe got POOpy in your eye! yes Sophia I know..let's not talk about it anymore ok? ok.. but Mama.. remember when Roscoe got POOpy in your eye?..oh you mean 5 minutes ago..yes honey I remember...oh.. that was funny wasn't it...
sigh..
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