What am I looking for? Well, my parenting manual, of course. I mean there has to be one for raising kids. Everything else comes with a manual. The phone, the computer, the car, even the my watch.
So why did these kids not come with one. Is there a more important job to do correctly, than raise a small child correctly?
I could have really, really used this manual last spring when it came time to decide whether Hayden should go into kindergarten or not. Hayden was born in the middle of October so he is a young kindergartener. In our school district, to go into kindergarten, a child must be 5 by December 1st.
Hayden made this cut off so it was off to kindergarten for him. Now our school district does offer a Young 5's program but I was so set on having him be in kindergarten that I really didn't consider it. My main reason was that Hayden is a very smart kid and I thought that he would be bored and not challenged if he was put into any other class but kindergarten.
Now fast forward to a couple weeks ago to our first parent-teacher conference. I was expecting things to go not so well when a few weeks early, Hayden's teacher asked Jeff, while he was helping in his class, if Hayden has trouble "focusing and paying attention at home?"
My suspicions were confirmed when his teacher told us that even though he was doing fine academically, he was really struggling socially. Is wasn't that he wasn't making friends or being social in that way but he was having a hard time with the basic rules of kindergarten, keep your hands to yourself, raise your hand when you want to speak, stay in line, pay attention to the teacher, etc.
After talking with his teacher more, talking with the principle of the school and learning more about the Young 5's program, we decided to have him switch. This week was his first week in his new class and so far things are going well.
Hayden LOVES his new class and teacher. He really didn't bat an eye when I talked to him about switching to a different class. In fact, he told me that he was ready "because I like trying new things, Mom." And that is just the kind of kid he is. Easy going, go with the flow, type of kid.
Well, not really. Since I am a Mom, I worry. I worry if any of the friends that he did make will notice? I worry about if even though this was done very early in the school year, is there a stigma attached to him? What if he matures in the next couple months and we just should have stuck with kindergarten? I worry about next year, there are options but what is the right one to do? What if this becomes more than just a lack of maturity?
I guess, there is really nothing else to do but cross those bridges when we get there and still hope for that parenting manual to show up.
34 comments:
Listen to your heart. You know your child best and it sounds like he's adjusting well!!
From the minute we become mothers we worry -- always, always worry!
You're doing a great job mom!
~ Jennifer
http://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com
Look at that smile in that last picture!! Love hayden's attitude...it will get him far in life :) I think it is fabulous that your district has a Young 5's program as an option for you!
Gabe is in the Young 5's program here, and it's the best thing I could've done. Elijah had turned 5 in June, so he went to kindergarten without a second thought. And although he has never struggled academically or even socially, lately he is feeling being the youngest. He is shorter than a lot of the other boys (and girls), and he hates that. He'll only be 17 when he graduates! That's so young!
You've done the right thing. Hayden will be fine. And it will be so much better in the long run.
I'm no expert (not EVEN close) but it sounds like you did the right thing to me and if he's happy, well then all is well.
I'll pray for you to not worry about it anymore, k?
That would be a hard decision. I had a similar one... except my daughter didn't make the cut off last year, so she had to wait to go to Kindergarten this year. Now we are having a problem cause she is advanced compared to most of the kids in her class and she is BORED! Ugh, never easy knowing the right thing to do is it?
Sounds like you guys are doing the right thing for him. All you can do is watch and listen and adjust as you go, because we certainly don't tart out with all of the answers!
Sounds like such a great program and I'm so glad the switch went well. My twins can go to kindergarten next year, but I think I'm going to wait another year...........:)
I don't know that we have a program like that here but my nephew went to head start for 2 years before heading to kindergarten this year. I think it helped him know what to expect both academically & socially.
I think that if there was a parenting manual step one would be "worry". That's just part of it. I have a "young 5" too and have been constantly concerned whether he's doing fine in K or not. Really looking back, the baby stuff is easy...it's getting harder as they get older!
I was in the exact same boat. Lucas is birthday is beginning mid/October. Our school does not have an young 5 program though and they are very big into, if they are not 5 before the school year starts they might not be ready. (then why is the deadline Dec 1??)
I was sure Lucas would be ready academically, etc.. but the maturity, following the rules.. well I think that will always be a bit of a problem with him.
After some different incidents/working with his teacher we ended up pulling him out of kindergarten and putting him in preschool. Talk about feeling like a failure. It is still very weird for me to look at his first day of school pictures and videos.. I haven't quite decided what to do with those.
If you want you can read about it here http://emmymom2.blogspot.com/2009/08/try-again-later.html
So I know what you are going through. But as time has progressed I feel better and better about my choice (besides he will be even bigger now-better for sports right?)
oh he'll be fine! i held brooke back a year for that reason...and she's 6+ girl. it was totally worth it. i promise you that you will not be disapointed, that way, hayden can marry an "older" woman!
I really think you did the right thing. And, you did it early....better now, than when he is in 1st or 2nd grade. He has a great attitude....he will be fine!
Wow, Dec 1 is the cut off?? That's really really late. Here is it September 10, so we have been debating trying to send Maggie next year or not (even though she is 2 weeks past the cut off). When I saw you sent Hayden, I started thinking more about sending her next year, but maybe one more year of preschool will be good for her.
Glad to know he is adjusting well!
http://togetherwesave.blogspot.com/2009/11/click-to-give.html
Kids are resilient ... it's us parents who stress over change sometimes far more than they do!
I have a "youngy" too in KG this year - though our cut off date is Dec 31 - and we make it by 11 days! Oddly enough, she's not even the youngest in the class!
And yeah... when you do find that manual, can you please make me a copy?
I really don't think this would cause a problem since he and his classmates are so young. But I agree, you gotta do what ya gotta do!
I hope they fix the shipping problem with that parenting manual by the time I get knocked up.
I could really use one of those parenting manuals too.
But it sounds like your little man is doing well so it will all turn out alright.
I think the fact that you worry and are involved shows your a great mom.
I think you are doing the right thing.
But I also wish I could have a manual. I really have no idea what I'm doing half the time. I was an Only Child so I was never used to kids.
Kids don't judge at that edge. If it were a later grade, it might be a problem. I wouldn't even worry about it!
I think you did the right thing by taking advantage of a program offered like that. Not many places have that. My son just missed the cut off and turned 6 in September so he is the oldest in kindergarten but I love that and he is doing so well.
I have seen how much boys have grown between 5 and 6 so I think it makes a huge difference. Don't fret, you did good. No stigma!!!!!!!
I had the same issue with my youngest. There is no good answer but to keep working with them to improve those areas. I gave my daughter four games to play: the stay put game, the keep my hands to myself game, the listening gam and the stay quiet game. I am sire there will be more tools I come up with to help her be successful in kindergarten.
I think that in between age is tough for everyone when starting kindergarten. I think it is best that you did it now. If you get a manual please make me a copy.
He'll do great. I think him being in 5's will make things easier later on. It is better for him (and you guys) if he is in the right spot. It will only be stressful for you if he keeps having problems in the wrong program. Plus NO ONE will remember!!! He'll make all new friends in 5's!!
Wow, all these cut-offs in December. I've never heard such a thing. Ours was July 1st for a long time, but it's recently been changed to August 1st. Either way my son doesn't come close to making it. His bday is Oct. 19. He had 2 years of preschool and was in daycare before that. So, I knew following the structure of the day and listening to the teacher would not be a problem for him. And of course the academics wouldn't be either. I actually had the opposite concern. If I put him in another year of preschool (preK this year) and then Kindergarten next year, won't he be bored stiff? I was WORRYING (LOL)about it a lot. Then our family circumstances changed. We received a big blessing and I'm able to stay home with him now. Soooo, our conclusion is that I homeschool him in Kindergarten. And he's doing great! We started school right after Labor Day and he was reading before his 5th birthday. YAY! So, God worked out my concerns. And I am sure He will do the same for you and Hayden!
As a teacher, I can tell you that you made the right choice. At a young age like this, his classmates will never notice or remember. They are too busy trying to remember how to write their names and go to the bathroom.
He will feel much better and less stressed out this year and do just fine from here on, is my guess.
I often wonder with some of our "lower" students, whether if their parents had held them back if they would've held their own more in the class. Sometimes it seems they struggle the whole way through. WIth other younger students? It doesn't seem to make a difference.
Parenting is hard work, isn't it?
He very similar to my boys. I heard those exact same comments about all my boys, particularly the last two. Blake was a young kindergartner too and I wish they'd had a program like this. It would have done him a lot of good. I think your boy will be just fine in the program you've chosen for him.
I think you made the right decision! SOunds like Hayden is such a great kid. Down here the cutoff is Sep 1st so he would've been in the next grade anyway. I think he'll end up doing better with the young 5's.
And what a cute smile!!!
Yes! Wouldn't it be nice if we had manuals? I have had to do things like that a couple times, once with david and once with teddy (I ended up holding them both back a year). At the time, i anguished over it. i cried over it. Lost LOTS of sleep... honestly for weeks.
But, now I can tell you, it was the best choice I could've ever made for both boys.
I hope you will find that same comfort about H too.
(((HUGS)))
Wow. I can't believe the age cut off. In MN, you have to be 5 by Sept 1, and there are VERY FEW exceptions made to that. Plus, if you have a child that is born after Dec, they usually recommend that they hold them back another yr (so they're 6 1/2 when they start K) which I think is a little ridiculous.
Don't worry about the "emotional scarring". They're too young for that to be any big deal, and he sounds so easy going. It was probably a great move on your part and he seemed to embrace it.
follow your instincts - you and hubbie know what is best for your little man!
Oh I could totally use a manual too. I think, as moms, we all question our decisions from time to time. It sounds like you made the right decision...he seems happy and comfortable in his new class.
Sounds like you made the best decision for your child, and that's all you can do! I would think that they are still too young to have any stigma attached to changing classes? That seems like something that would come later.
You will not regret the move. Kindergardeners don't care about that stuff. The only way it will come up again is if he or someone in his family make a big deal out of it.
No one ever regrets "red-shirting" young kids. A lot of people DO regret sending younger kids. Kyle turned five in May, and I could see the difference all along. Now, he'll turn 18 two weeks before he graduates. He'll be ready, but I don't think it would have hurt him to have an extra year to mature before entering kindergarten.
We made a similar decision Jen, also due to emotional issues. What does a year matter?
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