I Don't Want to Be a Mommy or I Do?

I feel like a really bad person. Today was not a good day here under the pile. The children did not take good naps at day care yesterday which means that they did not sleep well last night which means that mommy did not sleep well last night either.

So needless to say that I was grumpy and very short tempered and so were the kids. There was lots and lots of screaming and tears. Oh and there was yelling, don't even get me started on the yelling. I seriously was counting down the hours until nap time for every one.

Once nap time was over and we all were refreshed with a little sleep. Life was good and we actually had a fun time playing outside under a gorgeous periwinkle blue sky.

Now onto why I feel like a bad person. This morning I did not like my kids very much. In fact on several occasions, I wished that they would just go away and I could be by myself. I did not feel like being a mommy today. I could barely muster the strength to make coffee and dress myself let alone feed, clean and dress four young children.

But then this afternoon, I learned of a mommy who lost her one and only daughter very suddenly. I bet she would give anything to be a mommy again today.

I feel like a putz, a jerk and a generally bad person for having those thoughts of wanting my kids to go away.

I can't imagine what this mommy must be going through. The thought of losing a child, losing one of my kids, one of my kids dying, just stops me in my tracks and takes my breath away. It was like the slap in the face that I needed to see just how lucky I am.

You see, my babies were born prematurely, but only 6 weeks. They did not have any of the complications preemies can have. They were only in the hospital for a little less then 2 weeks and then we got to take them home. They were not delayed at all in their development. They are happy, healthy, 'normal' babies or I should say toddlers.

This little girl that died today, her name was Maddie and she was born 11 weeks premature. She was over a year old but still died of respiratory complications from prematurity or so that what is sounds like.

My heart goes out to this family. I don't know them but my heart aches for them.

My friend, Rachael over at Little Bites of Heaven is a follow triplet mom and her babies were born 11 weeks early as well. They are all fine today but they spent many, many hours and days of not knowing, of praying that everything would be alright.

Learning of Maddie's story today, caused me to do something that I have been meaning to do since I saw the button on Rachael's blog. I clicked that button and donated to sponsor Rachael and her family as they walk in the March of Dime-March for Babies.

It is just a small thing but hopefully the March of Dime's slogan, "One day, all babies will be born healthy" will come true.

If you can, I ask you to donate to this cause. You can give for Maddie. You can give for the Schirano triplets or you can just give for thankfulness that your own children were and are healthy.

That's why I gave.