Discipline.
It is something as a parent that we all have to do. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't but there is no way around it. Disciplining our kids just has to be done. Unless of course, you are going for the totally out of control life.
I am not very good at discipline. The first time that I put Hayden on the naught chair, I think that I hated it as much as he did. I wish that I didn't have to be discipline but life is full of consequences and kids need to learn this. It needs to start at home.
There are many ways to discipline. I think that as parents you have to find the best way that works for you and your kids. Some kids will respond well to the naughty chair, others need privileges taken away and some might even need to be spanked.
Spanking is not our choice for discipline but there have been a few occasions where I have spanked my kids on the butt or slapped their hands. It is always my last resort and I always regret it after I have done it because it is usually out of anger.
After my hand makes contact with that little butt and I feel the sting of the slap on my hand, the guilt that washes over me is enough to take my breath away.
And the thing that makes it even worse, is the fact that that little person that I just hit, the one hit out of anger, the one who really didn't deserve to get hit in the first place, instantly forgives me as soon as I pick them up and love and cuddle them.
I am the adult here. I am the one that is suppose to be able to better control my emotions, anger and impulses.
Sometimes I wish that kids weren't so forgiving (and maybe this is coming and what the teenage years are for). I wish that they would get mad at me. Scream at me. Tell me that it is not right for me to loose my tempter. Tell me to better learn to control myself.
Don't just instantly love me back, I don't deserve your love right there at that moment.
But maybe that is my 'punishment' in itself. Knowing that no matter what, my kids will love me. Their pure, innocent souls know nothing else but how to love. And really, should it be any other way?
Discipline.
Sometimes, it really does sucks being the parent.
Deux par Deux Has The Cutest Kid Clothes
4 days ago
38 comments:
Doesn't it sorta suck being the parent ALWAYS?
"Sometimes" qualifies as an improvement.
I know exactly how you feel. I am raising my 5th child now. But, teenage years are a'comin.
They can be everything you have heard of, and more.
Even my sweet little Patrick (age 13), who is a special needs child now gleefully tells his daddy and I that he can't wait until he is 18 and can move away and be on his own.
First time he told us that really tore me up. Now I know he isn't trying to be mean, just grown up.
Discipline IS hard to do...especially when they're younger. I have been known to lose my temper, but I've really mellowed as a Mom as the kids have grown up. BTW, wanted to remind you that today is Uncle Lynn's birthday, and I'm running a one-day POPrs giveaway to celebrate. Please come by!
At my house, we have a "spanking spoon". It sits on a shelf outside the kids' bedrooms. If they have misbehaved in a "spoon-worthy" way, they have to go to their rooms and wait for me to come with the spoon. We talk about the offense, I tell them how many spankings they're gonna get (usually one), then I do it. Having a set process eliminates the spanking out of anger issue.
Just having the spoon and using it once or twice helps. Now all I have to is threaten the spoon, and the bad behavior goes away.
The triplets are probably still a bit young for this, but it works great for Gabe. I think Elijah only has had one spanking ever (taking away privileges and video games is VERY effective); Isabel, maybe two. Gabe...that's another story. It's getting better.
I know what you mean, though. I hate being the disciplinarian; but I love having well-behaved kids, which is the end-result of said discipline.
And now this is offically my longest comment ever.
It is AGAINST the LAW here in Norway to spank your children! Seriously, they can come in & investigate if they HEAR about your touching your kids (spanking)... Little extreme... inst that crazy?
I am ALL about taking the stuff away & sending them to their rooms...
i'm feeling ya sister.
Good luck.
Being a parent is a tough job.
I rarely spank... only if the child is in danger and I need to snap them to attention... I never feel guilty about doling out time outs though...they can sit and scream all they want... doesn't bother me...
Spare the rod, spoil the child. It's part of our job. A TOUGH JOB that's for sure :)
It is tough-- but kids really need discipline. People that just let their kids run wild and don't say "no" to them, aren't doing them any favors.
Heh...just accept it Jen. I do.
It's even under my little picture on my blog. I 'know' they'll need therapy cause there are those days that I think to myself "This will be a day they talk about on the couch".
I'm saving to help them out with the bills. ;o)
At least I'm screwing them up while lovin' em. Best we can do.
Oh, you are so precious.
And that's all I'm gonna say. Because we do spank. (It's rare that we have to, but still.) And I don't want people to hate on me in your comments. Or hate on God, since it was His idea, anyway.
I'll stop now. You sweet thing, you.
The boy is too old for a real spanking so we just take away the things he loves - laptop, ipod, cell phone, car...
Unfortunately he's pretty good so I don't get many oppurtunities to play with his stuff. :)
parenting is the hardest job that i know. by a mile.
It is hard doling out discipline, but you're clearly doing the right thing. One day your kids will be grateful that they had a mommy that kept them in line and taught them respect.
Oh, girlfriend I am right there with you. I always wonder if there is some limit to them forgiving me for screwing up. I don't think I am going to be able to say, "Mommy is so very sorry" forever. One day they will say, "Well, then you shouldn't have done it in the first place!" But don't worry, because saying sorry to your kids will make you more human in their eyes. More deserving of their forgiveness. They will understand messing up because you have done it too.
But, it will get better as they get older. Right now, they are all too young to understand full consequences of their actions and they probably don't reason more than 15 seconds ahead of their actions.
Trust me, you'll grow the patience you need. And when you don't have the patience, you'll practice leaving the room and screaming into a pillow or punching your mattress. You'll get it - no one does it right the first time. We all learn by making mistakes. You will too.
Being a parent has the good the bad and the necessaries. Discipline is one of the necessaries. The one thing that I have learned is that if you are consistent and loving then the guilt is not there. At first I thought that I was going to go mad when my children got to that age when the word "no" comes alive. I have four that can say "no" and the fifth is not far behind. I always make sure that I ask God to be with me and not to let my anger the get best of me. But I always feel affirmation when someone tells me that my children are well-behaved.
I feel your pain, and it gets more difficult as they get older and can start to reason with you and/or manipulate. Stay strong!
I was thinking pretty much this exact thing this morning when my daughter climbed up onto her dresser. AGAIN. I have said no/don't/stop a million times. She pulled it over on herself the other day, this is about her safety. She's too little for time out. She doesn't understand when I say it is dangerous. What do you do with an 18 month old? I spanked her (well padded) bottom and sent her on her way. She came right back to the dresser. WTF?!
Discipline is no fun.
I hear ya! If I smack Joseph's hand, he cries and then smacks his OWN hand. Breaks my hear every time!
that is why I am a marshmallow mom!
I feel the same way. It has to be done... but discipline sucks.
I am having that day today...I yelled at The Little Man, and instantly felt bad about it. Parenting is hard.
I know what you mean!! It is hard being little because you have so much to learn but it's even harder for us because we have so much to teach.
I am not particularly looking forward to the day when discipline is needed. It is the best option though no matter how difficult.
Yes, being a parent sucks but undisciplined children are out of control. I get what you are saying. I don't believe in spanking but occasionally resort to it and almost always regret it. Just do the best you can!
Your kids must be younger than mine because I'm already experiencing the "How dare you discipline me" attitude. It usually angers me because I want my children to appreciate that I love them enough to discipline them. LOL! Eventually, they still come around, though.
As I read your post, I had tears in my eyes. How I feel exactly!
Amen, sister
I hear ya...it's so tough to contain the steam coming out of my ears sometimes! And I get the guilt-after-discipline-blues over here too. You are not alone!
Oh how I hear you. It's yelling with me. Right now I find myself acting more like the 3-year-old than the adult. Then I look at my 6-year-old and know it does get better.
Hang on.
Discipline is such a personal thing with parents... what works for one person may not work for another.
I threaten - and I take away - and I don't give in.
Sometimes it really sucks.
Amen to that.
It's so hard when you repeat yourself over and over and over and over until you get to the point where you slap the little hand to get your point across (and because you are going crazy!), and then you regret it instantly.
At least we can be forgiven, and we know that no one is perfect.
Well said, I can totally relate! Thank goodness our children are so forgiving, but oh, the guilt!
YES. I hear you. I really hear you.
I get the saddest when I hear them immitating me disciplining them.
Tonight Z was trying to escape his room at bedtime and T said, "NO Z! Don't leave! She will be SO mad!!!"
Am I really that scary?
Like my husband tells me every night as I beat myself up for "yelling" at my kids too much -forgive yourself because the kid did.
And just try and do it just a little less the next day until it's all gone!!
WOW (Words of Wisdom) from a husband who sees clearer than myself! ;p
I have recently written a few posts about how hard it is to say no or to discipline my children. I just think I'm never going to get it right!
Post a Comment