It has not been the best weather for playing outside. So in an effort to save my sanity, I packed up the kids and took them to the infamous mall play area.
This is what we did at least once a week, all winter. There are three malls in my area and we just rotate through them. Some are better than others but they all fulfill the purpose.
Now, most people have a love/hate relationship with the mall play area and I am no different. But I get over all the little things that drive me crazy because it is a free place to take my kids where they can run around and play. The babies just love the slides and usually Hayden will make a friend so I am left to sit in peace for a while.
This trip was going well expect for the fact that Hayden was the oldest kid there. There was no one for him to befriend. He was bored.
Which means he was trying my patience by climbing on the seating area, kicking me in the face, and teaching younger kids some not so good tricks.
I just kept telling him to go and play. I kept trying to think of things for him to do so that he would leave me alone. "Why don't you try and jump on all the gray rocks" Go and try and count all the little balls in the hour glass."
He finally left me and went over the corner to sit down and pick at his sock. I sighed with relief, looked around and did my head count, 1... 2... 3... and 4 Hayden still alone in the corner and I tried to sink back into my seat and enjoy my quiet time.
But I just couldn't get comfortable. There was something that was nagging at me. I looked around again at all the kids doing there own little thing. The babies were happy enough with the slide and Hayden had moved onto a puzzle on the wall but there was just something about his face.
His eyes did not smile like they normally do. He looked hurt.
I tried to forget it and get lost in my thoughts but I just couldn't. There was something nagging me. Then I had this thought, "Man, I wish that Kate (our babysitter) was here. Then she could play with Hayden."
Wait! Hold the Phone! Did I just wish for some one to come a play with my kid? What in the world is wrong with me? Am I that lazy and in need of that much mommy time that the two and half hours I just spent on the computer by myself was not enough? I still need more time? This is crazy? If I did not want to spend time with my kids then why in the world did I have them?
Enough!
Right then and there I decided that I was going to change things. There was no need for me to continue to be on the side lines like all the other mommies here at the play area. I was going to do something about it. I was going to do something that is not done in the mall play area. I was going to play with my kids.
I got up and said, "Hey Hayden!?! Want to play Hide and Seek Tag?"
He looked up at me and gave me a smile, the smile that had been missing. That smile that I love so much.
That made the fact that I got stuck in the tunnel and embarrassed myself all worth it. And you know what else, all the other kids wanted to join in our game and when we left, I saw another mommy get up and continue to play with her son.
Now that is what its all about.
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40 comments:
Oh Jen, I needed to hear this today. Thanks girl.
That was a great message. I'm struggling with feeling so incredibly PREGNANT right now, that I try to rest whenever I can.
This usually means I get to sit down for about 8 minutes a day, none of them consecutive.
I find it hard to get up and do things like this. But when I do, I'm glad I did. Whether I do or whether I dont, I still end up exhausted and aching at the end of the day, so I'm always glad when I DID do something like that.
Your post really hit home with me. I was just telling my husband last night how sad I feel that I can't play with my daughter as well as I used to. Being 9 months pregnant I'm just too tired, too big, too uncomfortable to get on the floor or on my daughter's level and give her the kind of 'play time' energy she needs. I think she misses it, and I feel bad about it.
Excellent post.
We all a little reminder how and then.
I think it is ok to need some extra mommy time (especially with your load) however, I think it's great that you inspired yourself to enjoy your kids for the afternoon. We all love our children but sometimes its hard to like being with them.
I have been there too. Thanks for posting this. I will do better from now on. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with all the kids I forget to actually play with them. Life seems to be just a series of tasks and no fun. Today things will change.
It is like an arrow right in the heart when you have realizations like that isn't it? Gah. I hate that feeling.
Great post, Jen!
I have so been there. Wanting to sit and have a few peaceful moments. Realizing that someday I will have more of those moments than I know what to do with. And getting off my behind and making some memories with my kiddos right now.
Inspiring, girl.
Good for you! It is so true- and something that I needed to be reminded of this morning (as I ignore my child to be on the computer.) Sigh. I will have to do better tomorrow too.
Hope you have a great, play-filled day!
I LOVE your post today! It really hit home. I'm sure we all have moments where we realize we could be better parents... how awesome that you chose to have fun!
I think that sometimes as Mamas we get so used to being around our kids, tending to thier needs, the house.. whatever... that we forget to just have fun with them... and of course that is all that our kids really want most of the time!
Thanks for being an inspiration!! : )
What a sweet story! I have caught myself doing that so many times and it just breaks my heart. I feel like I'm always trying to find ways for my kids to entertain themselves and then I lament that they grow up so fast! Thanks for reminding me that I need to play with them while I have the chance!
That was so great. What mom doesnt go through this? And often. You did what any great mom would do, to put a smile on her baby's face.
i love that you are THAT mom...i don't feel soo alone!
Really good message... I think we all fall into that rut sometimes, when we just get tired and a little lazy.. I'm guilty too. But reading this is a nice kick in the butt and a reminder to enjoy the time we have with our kids, because someday we will be saying that we don't see them nearly enough!!
Just perfect. Sometimes I find myself doing the same thing -- wanting time to just sit while he plays, but then I realize. . . why not play with him instead of having him always interact with himself. I mean, he goes to a sitters in the afternoon and plays with other children. And I want him to have time where he entertains himself, but there are times that I also need to play with him. And I love those times.
Thanks so much for the reminder, Jen!
I love it. I have had the same thought a few times lately. It suddenly hit me that they are growing up and soon won't want me to play with them. That, and one day my five year old daughter said, "Mom, do you think when you are finally done with school you could play with me again?" how sad is that?
Good for you! It's hard to get inspired sometimes, but it's well worth it. I always remind myself that in no time they won't want to play these silly games anymore and that I need to store it all up for when that day comes.
Thanks for the reminder. I'm getting off the computer now
Great post! I really struggle with this very thing. I want to enjoy my daughter but some days I just feel so overwhelmed by mommyhood. I needed this reminder to savor this time with her.
Great - true - post! Thanks for sharing!
Oh, I'm glad you wrote this. I'm just beginning a great stretch of days off and it's time to catch up on some play with the kids.
Terrible that I need to be reminded but I'm so glad that you did it.
:::hugs:::
Yea for you! It's so easy to feel like we need a break--all the time! Wanting someone else to play with our kids seems OK, and it is sometimes, but realizing it made your day! (and probably those other moms and kids too!)
Hi Jen! I haven't come by in two forevers (as my husband would say)--glad I came today! This is the kind of kick in the pants I often need. :-) Glad you listened to it.
Bravo for recognizing Hayden's need and stepping up to the plate, even when it's difficult! You have such a load too, I'm sure you do need extra mommy time now and again. I loved the post, very inspirational!
Jen--- what a great story... you had me giggling; which I really needed today!!! I think it is wonderful what you did.... kids love it when mom & dad play with them!!
OMG how do you get 2.5 hours alone on the computer???
Tell me the secret.
Just kidding. This was a great post. I loved it!
I think we are all guilty of this sometimes! This is why I take advantage of nap time for the little one while the big one is at school. Then when the little one is up and wants to play, I dont feel like I am going nuts! And when the big one is home from school its time for the little ones second nap so I get to have time with my big one!
Jen Once again I am so proud of you, AND once again I am so grateful that you are the mother to my grandchildren. You do a great job with them. Mothers all feel guilty at times. There is always that nagging doubt that we are not doing enough to keep our children safe, healthy, clothed and even more importantly--happy. Time is short, school is around the corner. You are correct--now is the time to play with them. Bravo to you!!!
can't tell you how many times i have wished the babysitter was here to keep noah occupied. thank you for making me see it another way. i will try better not to have these thoughts...or at least keep it to once a week. :P
Way to go, Mama! I think we all feeling that nagging feeling, and we ignore it a lot of the time. and isn't it amazing how even a simple ten minutes can change the whole day. Lovely post!
Great post. All us parents need to follow your lead. We would all be better off.
I love this "aha" moment and I needed to hear it from another great Mom to help me really HEAR it. Thank you!
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!
I LOVE this. Awesome post!! That is really what it is all about.
Such a perfect post-- I am a teacher of preschoolers and decided to spend the afternoon PLAYING with the kids instead of just watching them play. We had a great time!
Such a good post!! I love playing with Aidan. I was "that mom" with Aidan and have been a little slacking since Grayson came into the picture. I gotta try harder!!!
you ROCK! what a good mama!
That was great Jen! But I'm LOLing that you got stuck in a tunnel!!
That is great. I also get down on the floor and play with my kids. The other parents usually look at me as though I've grown another head though.
Jen...I keep trying to remind myself of this exactly. Too many moments I find myself frustrated over stupid little things with the kids...and I need to remind myself that I need to hold on to every moment. To cherish them. To enjoy them.
Thanks for another reminder...I hope to make the most of this weekend.
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