After a long day at home with the kids, I am more than ready for Jeff to come home. Actually, besides nap time, it is my favorite time of day. I just love this man so much and I miss him while he is slaving away at the office.
Ok that was a bunch of bull, I do love him but I love it when he comes home because I am so ready for some help.
I am ready not to deal with the fighting, the tantrums and the crying. I don't want to stop anyone from playing in the trash or keep them off the table. I am sick of saying 'no' and 'don't touch that'. I am ready for a breather and some time for me.
But there is one problem with this plan. The kids don't get it. They are all thrilled that Daddy is home. They smile and giggle and want his attention but it all fades in a matter of moments.
And even though he is home and willing to take care of their every whim, they all still run to me. They have seen me all day but the babies still run to me with every tear and all clamor for my lap and attention. I give them a little slack b/c they are young yet.
But Hayden is the worst of them all. He is older. He should know better but no every single time he needs something he comes to me.
"Mom, can I have some chocolate milk"
"Mom, can you get me my blankie?"
"Mom, can I watch a movie?"
"Mom, I need a snack."
"Mom, I have a question."
MOM. MOM.MOM!
I am so sick of it, I just want to scream, "GO ASK YOUR DAD!"
I just don't get it. Jeff is in the same room as I am, he is just as capable as me to fulfill all their requests but they keep coming to me?
I think I may need to invest in an off duty sigh or something to get the message across. Maybe one with big flashing letters and a gate. Yeah, a gate that says, "Go Ask Your Dad. Mom Is Off Duty!"
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38 comments:
My toddler does the same thing, and I remember doing it myself through elementary school. I don't know why, maybe it's a comfort factor? My daughter does go to her daddy when something electronical is broken, b/c she's learned I'm useless in that department!
Oh Jen, I am so with you on this one. I also hate it that Daddy gets to be the good guy,the playtime guy, the fun guy.
We have the same thing around here. I like your idea of a sign, like a taxi cab, that says OFF DUTY!
LOL! Since my kids are older sometimes I just have to shut my door and read my book in my room alone.
Its an interesting phenomena for sure! Daddy's illicit so much love and laughter and happiness but Mommy's are the ones that cater to every whim and want of a child : ). Even Mommy's who are off duty, right?
Ugh. I can so releate. Last night I was sitting at the kitchen table. Michael was washing something in the sink. And Katie comes into the room asking me all these questions about Napster and her mp3 player. Wanting to know if I asked daddy to synch it for her...blah, blah, blah.
And all I could think is "WHY" is she even bringing me into this conversation. I know nothing about the player. I have no idea how to add songs to it...I don't have the account with napster. And Michael is right there in the room!
I want to know how to get the kids to ask him and not me...especially when it actually has NOTHING to do with me!!
Whew. I feel unburdened! :-)
I hear ya!! I actually have "Mommy's Off Duty" on my calendar!! If I didn't, he would never get any time with her and I would never get a break!!
I need one of those signs, my son is the same way. He will walk past his father and come to me in another room to ask me for something.
I think it's just part of being THE MOM.
It's a double edge sword.
well, my triplets have not started this yet, but I can say my teenager step kids do the same thing...so I dont think that will ever change...in fact I still think I always go to my mom first...and I'm old as dirt...lol
Ugh it really makes me crazy too. My 7yo will see me getting out of the shower for chripes sake and come ask me to get her a cup down or something when her dad is right there in the same room with her! I always say "you know your dad is perfectly capable of doing things too!". Too which she replies "I know but I want you to do it!"
They ask you b/c they know that you are the supreme being, ruler of all, always right, force to be reckoned with. Dad is just Dad. And, I like to tell mine that I've changed my name and am not telling them what it is. It works briefly. Have a happy tomorrow:)
That reminds me of when my 4 year old was telling my mother where everyone sat at the table. When she asked were I sat, Jack said, "Oh, Mom just stands in the kitchen in case we need anything!"
you know what ? I have that same problem!! What is it? I can not figure it out - why - WHY do they always ask me??
My mom used to always say she was on strike the minute my dad came home. Great post!
Oh, I so feel you. Well, I feel 1/4 of the way you do. I can't imagine what it must be like with 4 people needing you!
Get a gate for sure! It's the only way.
Yeah, I've gotten to the point of.."that sounds like a Daddy question to me. I bet he can get that for you". However, Aidan loves to scream "NO I WANT MOMMY TO DO IT!!!", especially when working with a dirty diaper!!
You know what? Moose does it too! Of course, his questions aren't verbally as sophisticated (haha), but he'll bring me an empty cup and go "mo mo mo mo mo" in the most annoying voice you've ever heard. And Anthony is sitting 2 feet away. I just say "daddy will get you water." Ugh, but I get it. I understand!
thank you so much for stopping by! I haven't been a good bloggy friend at all, but man your kiddos are growing up so fast!
Amen, amen, and AMEN! It happens here too!! They follow me around like little puppy dogs even when I think I'm being sneaky. Pat will be sitting RIGHT next to them and they'll ask ME to get them something. Whatever. I'm gonna bug the crap out of them when they're teenagers in retalliation. When they go in there rooms with their friends to be alone I'm going to follow and just pester them and be all "what?? You don't like this?? You don't want me around you?? I don't get it...I love you so much, don't you love me!?! Come on let's play!!"
I am SOOOOOO w/you on that!!
I look forward to my man coming home every day just to know that I dont have to do EVERYTHING...but it never stops!!
Good luck!!
Hey-did you think I had vanished into thin air? No-I've been here, silently lurking. A death in the family, which constituted an out of state trip coupled with the death of my laptop meant I was relegated to my phone to keep up on my blog reading. And while it does fine for reading in my RSS feed it takes an excruciatingly long time to load the entire page to allow me to comment. But fear not, I have been keeping up with the pile and know of all the craziness that has ensued the past few weeks. And while my new laptop is not here yet (traveling via free shipping which means oh so slow) it will be here soon! I hope.
I too hate this time of day. It's like the witching hour. The kids are extra crazy, I'm trying to get dinner on and the second the hubs walks in the door I'm barking orders at him to take the kids. He usually comes back with "Hey, I need a minute to unwind first" but I have no sympathy! I remind him he just had an hour commute home ALONE in his car and I haven't been alone all day, not even to pee!
I really hate to tell you this, but it doesn't stop by the time they are eight. The twins will be eight next month and still come to me for everything even though Daddy is right next to me. I tell them "Ask Daddy. he's right there..." It just gets old, being the only one they ask for anything.
Ugh, I know how it goes.
My husband won't be back until next month and I miss the help. But like you mentioned, the kids still come to me and I try to say things like, "Why don't you ask your Daddy? I'm sure he'll be THRILLED to color with you."
LOL! I love the idea of the flashing sign.
I've sooo been there. Put yourself in time out. Seriously. If you don't abuse it they'll really come to respect it. I promise :)
Oh I HEAR you and all your commenters! It's been driving me mad since Wednesday, worse because I'm so tired right now! I am turning into an ogre.
Ahh...maybe you could be 'off duty' hiding out in the bathroom or something?
Kids learn who will do things for them. So just start ignoring them and they will stop asking. :)
LOL! I have considered changing my name when Russ is home from work. He is only home on weekends and boy, I need the breakj when he is, but like you, every kid still comes to me for EVERY SINGLE WHIM... UGH!
Sheesh. I think you should sequester yourself away in the tub for a nice bubble path. And completely lock that door and crank some relaxing tunes. I think Jeff could handle it!!
When my kids were younger I regularly went on strike. No cooking, no fetching, no answering. I would veg. All duties were deferred to dad.
I have to lock myself in my bedroom to get away from the kids... I tell them I'm napping when I'm really drinking wine and blogging...
So, Jen did we ever figure out why when we're taking a family drive WITH DADDY that no one ever talks to him? And even when you are trying to have a conversation with Daddy.. Daddy will talk to you still... even when the kids are screaming their feelings on their surface to you at the same time!!!
Ha! Never will get that...
Oh Jen, the same exact thing happens at my house. Tim could be standing IN THE KITCHEN and they'll come running upstairs to me "Mommy, can you get me some juice?"...WTH??? Daddy can't get it for you? Oh, I know....you don't want to put Daddy out after he's had such a long hard day at work. Let's let Daddy rest a bit. But Mommy gets to work 24/7.
My husband sits there and laughs about this....and so tonight the minute he comes through the door, I'm gonna pass by him quickly and say "they're all yours" as I go to meet some girlfriends for dinner and drinks until the wee hours of the night. You should do the same!!!
This happens here too (albeit with only one kid) but I must confess I don't exactly see my husband jumping up to say "Hey ... Daddy will get that. Let's give Mommy a break." And even though I know he worked all day and wants a break, I do too!!!
i think every mom can relate! if you get that gate, let me know where you found it!
Yep. I don't get it, either.
I can be in the kitchen making dinner... Shane in the living room watching TV. A kid will walk right past Shane, come into the kitchen to ask me to help them with something. Um... hello?!!??! Your dad is sitting right there!
I know why. Because Mom's the final authority and mom gets things done.
At least, that's my theory in our house, anyway.
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