I Want Money Lots and Lots of Money

Money is a good thing to have. If you want something like say food, you have to have money to get it. And the best place to get money is from a bank. The best place to get money with a van full of children is a drive up ATM.

Now I am a person who will use any ATM even if it is not my bank. I hate the fact that I have to pay for it but I don't have time to drive all over town to get the money that I need.

On this night, I wanted to take the kids to a softball game. I had the bright idea of getting pizza for dinner. In order for us to go on this rare after dinner outing, I was going to have to plan everything down to the minute. So instead of having Jeff pick up the pizza on his way home, making him late, I would pile the kids in the van and get it myself.

My plan was to get money first, head to the pizza place and get home in just enough time to let the kids chew their food, have Jeff get changed and then we would be off.

I drove up to my first stop, the bank, put my card in the machine and proceed with the transaction. I provided the machine with my pin and this is when things took a very bad turn.

After entering my pin, I expected to be able to go on and get my money. But the machine had other ideas. It beeped at me, told me to contact my financial institution and that my card would not be returned.

What?!?

I read the message again, quickly before the machine went back to the main screen. 'Your card will not be returned'. My heart began to race and I started my little freak out.

I had no idea what was happening as I drove around the the front entrance. I only knew that I had to have money to buy the pizza to feed the kids and it was now 5:02pm and we were suppose...

wait, 5:02pm!?! Crap, the bank is closed!

I ran up to the front door and pulled on the handle, locked. Great why do bank people have to be so timely? I tried pounding on the door, praying that someone would hear me and open the door and not call the cops.

But that did not work. The woman inside continued to count money. I jumped back in the car and drove around to the drive through. I pushed the call button on the station, repeatedly. She was going to notice me, she totally was.

My repeated button pushing worked, she came over.

"Sorry we are closed. All the computers....." she began to explain.

"I Don't Care About That! The ATM, it took my card!" I screeched.

"Sorry. We are closed." She stated once again.

"But why did that ATM take my card this is not my bank!" I was trying so hard to control the pitch of my voice but as I spoke it climbed higher and higher and I got more and more panicky. "I need that card and the machine took it. I need money to buy food for my kids."

"I am sorry. There is nothing I can do now. You will have to call your bank in the morning." And with that she took her finger off the talk button and walked away.

"But my card...."

"Mommy?" a little voice came from the back seat. "Whats wrong? Are you freaking out because that was your most favoritist card and the machine won't give it back? That is not very nice"

Leave it to Hayden to make me smile during a moment of stress and in doing so gave me the clarity to think about what to do next. Call Jeff.

As I explained the whole story to Jeff, still trying to control the volume and pitch of my voice, he listened very carefully and waited for my to finish.

"Jen" he questioned.

"What!" I was kind of annoyed that he was so calm.

"Are you sure that you used the right card?"

"Huh!?"

"Because I am sitting here holding the joint card."

I could feel the blood flush my cheeks and the embarrassment rush over me as I realized what I did. We have multiple bank accounts with the same bank. They all have the similar looking cards but we have made markings on the back to tell them apart.

I had taken the wrong card and when I repeatedly put in the wrong pin at multiple banks (this wasn't the first time that I had tried to get money with that card), the bank confiscated it thinking that I was a thief (If you think about it, its a good thing, really).

"Oh. Well, I guess then your card is stuck at in the ATM and you should really call them in the morning" I said with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, I guess I will" Jeff replied.

"Just one more thing?" I asked before hanging up. "Can you get some cash on the way home but try and hurry, Ok? Thanks and I love you."