All my needs are catered to and taken care of. If I want a drink, I ask and someone brings it out. If my food is cold, I ask and someone brings me something warm. I am finished and someone comes and takes the plate away. It is fabulous.
So since eating out is such a pleasure of mine, how come my family and I don't eat out every single chance we get?
Well, the simplest answer is that we have four children under the age of five.
When we sit down to eat at a restaurant one or more or sometimes all of these following tend to happen.
- Crayons that are handed out to color the menu with become a very chewy appetizer that in the end wasn't a good idea to eat and must be spit out all over the table.
- One or more of the beverage containers must be spilled all over the table and into someone's lap.
- Highchairs are not a place to sit but a tower to climb on and jump out of.
- Running around the servers holding trays full of food and making a human obstacle course becomes a fun sport.
- Refusal to eat the food that you chose from the menu and instead eating what Mommy ordered leaving her to eat the over cooked macaroni drowned in ketchup.
- Stuffing a mouth so full with food that the only thing a person can do is gag and vomit all over the place.
- Even better, show sign of gagging but hold the vomit until Mommy is rushing you down to the bathroom and let it rip half way there making a lovely trail all the way down the hall.
- Throwing food at the people around you. Bonus if it hits people at another table.
- Eating the sugar packets because after all Mommy did give them to you to 'play' with but it turned out to be more fun and tasty to eat them.
- Running through the restaurant screaming, "NOOOOOOOOO!" as Mommy or Daddy tries to get you back to the table to eat.
Usually even before the meal is over, we throw in the towel and go home. But someday, somehow, my children will behave in a restaurant. But until then, I think I am going to save eating out at a restaurant, a thing for Mommy and Daddy only.
I am pretty sure that the staff of restaurants everywhere will thank me for this.
46 comments:
Until my kids became a little older and a little wiser (because they finally figured out just how mad Mom would get, lol) my dinner out was a little more expensive cost of babysitter included.
You'll get there :)
Yeah, the dude has left his behavin' ways behind and is all about misbehavin'!
You poor thing... lol. my boys are 6 and 8 and they still eat my food. Does that go away?
I can't even imagine! Your head must be constantly turning from one to the next to see what they're up to. Mom and Dad dates are a good idea!
Oh goodness. I think mom and dad dates are a great idea! I love going out to eat as well, its just so much easier.
OMG, I cannot blame you for staying home. I only have 1 so it's been easy going out to eat. But with 4 under 5, I don't know that I'd even be able to cook at home. Hah. I don't know how you do it. You get Mom of the Year Award.
it's my life...in words! i am dying here! we warn off dining out with all of them unless it's quick and there's a dirt floor! :)
Mine are 8 and 11 and still a pain to take to restaurants. They want appetizers and desserts that I have not budgeted. They get bored. They get insulted with the offering of kids menu and crayons - but ALWAYS go back and ask for some. Because they are bored. It's much easier to just leave them at home. Where they would have been just as happy with Kraft powdered mac and cheese...
sometimes, when we leave a restaurant we have recently destroyed, i wonder if that is applause i'm hearing in the background.
i feel your pain.
Eventually they will learn. Our dinners out are quite peaceful these days...
But I laughed at this post, Jen. I can see you quite clearly in my mind's eye :)
YES YES YES YES. This is my life. It is a shame because I love to sit down to a good meal. I figure I will be able to go to a resturant again in about 8 years.
6 words: Portable DVD player and "listening" phones. Of course, I only have one child, so I only have to have 1 DVD player and 1 set of listening phones. Might be a bit trickier in your situation. ;)
If I were closer, we could exchange babysitting duties.
Oh yes. I only have my two. But just two days ago there were eaten crayons, then regurgatated (sp?) and throw across the room. (and that was a good night out)
Thank goodness we chose to sit outside by ourselves! It totally makes sense why my dad would duck tape us to our chairs (at home) and tape the spoons to our hands. (not kidding)
Queen of Feisty
Ack! I vividly remember those days.
I hear you! We only have two boys and I sometimes still feel like eating out can be such a fiasco. Sometimes it actually goes ok though! I am hoping they improve with age, right?
I know, it is ridiculously difficult to take small children out to eat isn't it? : ) Hope you can go on a mommy and daddy date soon! : )
I swear we didn't go to restaurants with our first until he was 5. He was terrible! Our second was easier except that he is such a picky eater, we could never find something he liked that wasn't from Mickey D's!
Yeah, we regularly take our two out and sometimes leave thinking, why do we do this? I can't imagine with four. Time and season for everything right?
We've been at a stage for the last 6 months where we very rarely eat out. At the most, we'll do take-out but then we still have the mess at home to deal with.
BUT I may have solved the dilemna. I put a bunch of free kid game apps on my iPhone and the kids love them. So we're gonna test it someday soon....while waiting for our meals to come, we'll let the kids play games on the phones. I have a feeling it won't go over well. Why? Because we only have 2 phones and there are 4 kids. We're always outnumbered, kinda like you all are. 4 kids (under 4 yrs old) and 2 parents. Not good odds if you ask me!
The worst to me was having to tell him to get up off the floor, get out from under the table and to stop laying across the chairs. He was like a worm....made me insane!
Oh boy! hehe. Is it terrible that I'm giggling about at your ordeal when going out to eat?
Yes, some day you will be able to go out to eat and not have all of that happen!
Here in India most restaurants are such where they encourage kids to run around... so my kids happily oblige!
But when we go to the States I constantly talk through clenched teeth... and I put on my angry face which in the end, every table at the restaurant has seen!
With only two kids it is much easier for my family to go to a restaurant. I usually just bring along a couple of books to keep them entertained. Crayons, worst toy ever! Mine used to try to color on the table.
I can't even image trying to do anything with that many, that young! Order in...it's easier:-)
Bless your heart! Take it from one with four much older kids - you will get to go out one day - I promise:)
So funny! (to me who isn't there with you! :) ) The "stuff mouth full of food until you gag and vomit" thing killed me!
Your dinners out sound like mine.
Now going through the drive thru is a treat and adds some excitment to my day.
Drive thru meal + gossip magazine + chocolate for dessert = my perfect day.
I love eating out too. Money is a good reason not to go. Lately though we have just fed Braden cracker after cracker and he has been grate. He leaves a mess to clean up, but it helps us enjoy dinner.
I kept taking the kids out to dinner until they realized that they had to act like civilized human beings.
It took awhile. Sometimes I still have my doubts.
Wow, and I thought it got messy when we'd take my dog out to eat!
BUT, someone elase clears up - stick out the behaviour until you at least have eaten!
Kids, eh? Can't live with 'em, can't take 'em anywhere. Um... That's not quite how that goes, is it?
At least they're cute!
Oh, we love to eat out here.
We do it more than we should.
But when my son was two we couldn't go out because he just wouldn't sit. He screamed. It was just...bad...
Mine are 6 & 8 and I'd still rather it be just me and Shane out for dinner! Most of the time the girls behave themselves, but there are a few times where someone isn't happy with the choice of restaurant or what they ordered...
Yeah. We don't go out to eat either.
Love the stuffing so much in their mouth until they vomit!
Been there.
Yeah, there's not much eating out with our daughter either. It's just WAY too stressful.
wait ... are you saying these things detract from your eating enjoyment? I just can't imagine!
We are only now starting to go out for dinner with our mob of kids, aged 4, 6 and 8. Even so its a quick help yourself chinese meal at 6pm and then its get in and get out...... You are not alone lol
Oh, how I love to eat out, too and miss the days when it was so easy. Gosh, now dinner costs twice as much b/c we have to factor the baby sitter in there and then rush to eat b/c we have to try to squeeze in 10 other things while someone is able and willing to watch the kids!!
Amen! I think it's crazy w/ one 2 year old I can't imagine w/ three. You are really super mom!
OH yes, I know , I know!
Oh, so it's not just my children that behave like this then... WOW!!
(glad they are "normal" then)
I have a hard time getting one to behave, can't imagine four.
Eating out is so much more fun when you don't have to feed anybody else.
I am so with you!
My kids are 9,8, and 6, and fairly well behaved but when you are taking 5 people out to dinner it is $50 or more. Usually hubby and I regret taking the kids for the reasons desribed above. A few months ago we went to a local place that was more expensive than we thought and all the kids did was whine. We have said it is a much better use of the money to pay a babysitter and enjoy the peace and quiet of a lovely dinner for two.
I know! I used to think screaming babies in a restaurant were awful, but now I realize it's my own screaming 3 year old that sucks. It's not even worth it to drag her butt to McDonald's--so we do a lot of take out!
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