Well, let me just say that I now have an inkling of what an all-you-can eat buffet feels like. I know this feeling because I have become an all-you-can-eat buffet to the mosquitoes.
I got over 15 bites in one night on one leg, while I was sleeping in my own bed. With that many bites, you would have thought I was camping or something.
We live in the woods so I am prepared for dealing with mosquitoes. It is just a given, that is why I wear mosquito replant in place of body spray. I bath the kids in it before we go out and play. We were long pants and jackets until it is just too hot to do so.
The mosquitoes will usually be bad for a couple of weeks and then stop, totally doable. But this year is different.
When spring hit, they didn't come. When the weather got warm they didn't come. I began to think that maybe this year would be different. I started to think it would be a light year.
But boy was I wrong. Lets just say that they are making up for lost time.
We go outside and we get swarmed. Do you remember those cartoon with the huge swarms chasing people? Well, that is happening here. They are vicious. They take no prisoners. They are out for blood, literally.
I feel so bad for the kids. Even with the replant on, it looks like they have chicken pox. Claire is covered in so many welts that I think people are starting to question my parenting.
Enough already.
I see them ogling my plump white thighs. I know they are laughing at me as the inflict there itchiness. I hear them planning their attack as they buzz by. And I feel their pain and itch as they have turned my legs into an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Maybe this is their revenge for me trying to single-handedly trying to wipe out their population. I am one mean clapping, killing mosquito machine.
Something must be done.
Their bites are just so darn itchy it makes me crazy. Perhaps if we could come to a compromise. I would let them bite me if they made their bites not so itchy, then maybe we could get along.
Maybe...
Oh, who am I kidding? All-you-can-eat buffet open for business.
This post was inspired by the prompts for Writer's Workshop.
Hosted by Mama Kat
33 comments:
The mozzies love me and we have these little pains called sandflies, they really sting. That pic cracks me up...
I have a joke that I have sugar for blood because no matter what I end up covered in bites. They love me no matter what I have gooped on they eat me alive.
Keep killin'. They say these creatures are the deadliest animals on earth don't they? Malaria and all that? Keep killin'.
Just don't tell PETA.
Oh man, I hear ya! I hate, hate, hate them!! I cant go outside with out getting a bite or 4, they drive me nuts!
I hate them too. For some reason my son and I get attacked by them, but my Hubby never does. I tell my son it is b/c we are sweet. I think it is the blinding glow of our white skin. I am so pale I glow green. Everyone makes fun of me for wearing sweats in the summer, but I am tired of itching. The bastards don't care though. They bite me on my face too. Stopping by from Mama Kat's. Have a wonderful day and take care.
-Kiki
Oh Jen, as per usual your sense of humor entertains me to no end. And I thought African mozzies were bad!
Well, you may no tlike me very much, but they just DONT bother me. For some reason I mam always the least bitten of our group. Maybe I'm too stinky. Don't know what it is, but I like it. :)
Over from Mama Kat's! Have a great Thursday!!
LOL. Cute post!
Dropping by from sits and blog hopping. Have a great Thursday!
Ms Cupcake
ZenCupcake
For some reason I thought this post was going in a totally different direction with the all you can eat buffet.
That's horrible with the mosquitos! and gross. But more horrible
u poor thing...jk has some bites on her face that are all swollen and red and well, they look like someone might have punched her a few times...not good.
Oh no! That's the worst. And then you end up itching like crazy INSTEAD of sleeping. I totally get it, we have droves of them here too. BOO!
That is AWFUL! Is there anything else you can use as a repellent? This makes me so sad for you and the kiddos.
BUMMER!
I got gobbled up while camping last week and was stupid enough to scratch at them 'til they bled. Don't do that!!
OK, I heard the off fan works wonders! you know, when I was pregnant I didn't get bit at all! The Dr. said it was because of the folic acid...maybe we should find a folic acid cocktail!
those are the worst! Whenever I was pregnant, I was the buffet around here - my hubby would never get bit and I was about eaten alive! I've not gotten it too bad this year, but have been inside more with the baby. Instead, they seem to be feasting on my daughter - poor thing is one big itch and red bump!
This has been a problem for me my entire life. When I was little they used to bite my eyelids when I was sleeping and the next morning my eyes would be so swollen I could hardly open them.
Not that you need the advice, but I became a devoted user of the "original" Skin-so-Soft body lotion by Avon. I would put it on and the mosquitoes would only bite the spots I missed like in between my toes.
Sorry you've become a buffet.
i don't know if this is true or not, but i've heard that eating bananas makes them bite more. we've seen that as true at our house as my hubs eats bananas and i don't (or i don't eat them in the great quantities that he does)
you have the greatest writing skills!!! this was hilarious!!
I saw a coupon for one of those waist OFF things you clip to your belt. It's to keep the bugs away. If I were you I would get one for when I sleep....Because, if I had that many bites I would have to go see my Dr. I puff up like the stay puff Marshmellow! LOL, I would be drinnking the benadryl like in the movie Hitch!
I am the SAME way, they love feasting on me. ANd the worst thing...I dread them and hate them so much that I can hear when one is in the house and flying around when it's quiet!!
One thing I found works...a couple of things actually...if you put listerine in a spray bottle and spray around your deck or patio or wherever you are sitting at it should deter them...second take a plate and put a little bit of milk on it and set it out on the lawn, it's supposed to attract them and they die in the milk. and lastly, when you do get chewed alive the best thing is a product called "After bite". OMG it works AWESOME! Take it from me, I lived in the humidity of Michigan for 6 years and learned all these tricks that actually work. Now that I'm back home in So. Cal, I don't have AS MUCH trouble with them!
Good luck and happy scratching!
oh yeah and they do make an "After Bite" for kids too!
oh no!! i'm itchy just reading this!! you poor girl! good luck with that...citronella would be my best friend!
I'm itching just reading this!
I wanted to let your know I passed onto you a little blog award!
When we were kids, we didn't have mosquito nets in our rooms, and one night my sister got 49 bites on ONE EAR!
I have one just now, right between the boobs. Makes for awkward public scratching.
I live in Wisconsin so, I can completely sympathize with you. They are brutal this year!!
"I wonder what it would be like to be picked at constantly with no one stopping to say thank you or giving you the time of day?" i feel like that sometimes but it has nothing to do with mosquitos. lol. even though they are HORRIBLE here too.
I'm probably going to rue the day I said this, but I've barely been bitten at all this year. I think my taste has changed or something because the entire rest of my life has been like yours, mosquito city.
I read this as I scratch a new bite on my knee...and discover one on my ankle.. I won't even metion the one I got...ummmmm... in a really hard place to scratch discreetly...
I (knock on wood) have never been a big bug attracter (sp?); I rarely get bitten. Granted, I don't frequent or live near very buggy spots, but...
If someone gets bitten, it's always Jeff. He must be sweeter than me (which is A-OK with me!!)
I never get mosquito bites. I mean EVER. I don't know why...we have plenty in these parts too. Maybe it's because I don't leave my house. ;)
Just got my first 2 bites of the season this weekend and go figure it was 4th of July and we were laying outside until 10:30 pm!
oh no! We don't have that problem, but that would be miserable! Yikes!!
OMG that post is too funny! Where are you at in MI? I ask because 6 years ago, when we lived in WI, we went to the UP for a week with my whole family (my folks, all my siblings and their kids) and we stayed in a big house on the lake. It was late June. And, the mosquitoes were ungodly horrible. Even with the windows closed and doors shut tight, they would come in through the fireplace opening. YES the flue was closed but it didn't stop them. Those buggers are persistent! I wore bug spray around the clock!
In your house? Wow.
I heard that eating bananas attracts them.
I hate it when they bite my kids' eyes. My 4yo's eyes swell shut. She looks like an abuse victim for sure. I hate that.
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