I don't know how many of you watch the TNT show, Raising the Bar, but a recent episode made me think and want to discuss (I love when this happens). So lets, shall we?
The episode was about a father who took a innocent naked picture of his son getting out of the bathtub and then posted it on his web page on a social networking site. The picture then was downloaded by a child pornography site and the sold as child porn.
The prosecution said that the father was responsible because he took the picture and posted it on a on a web page that was hosted by a social networking site. Even though the picture was meant for family and friends, it was on a public site available for anyone to see and use. It was like the father threw a loaded gun into a jail cell. He provide the child porn site with the means and the motivation to show that picture as child porn. Basically they said that it was his fault that the picture was used in this way and because he posted the picture on a public web site, it was just as if he handed the picture to the pornographer himself.
The defense said that yes it was in poor judgment to post that picture online but it was not a crime. The father is not a sexual predator. The father meant no harm to the son by posting that picture. He posted it to share with family and friends. He had no knowledge that it would be used and sold as child porn and he is not responsible for the fact that it did. In fact, the was disgusted and appalled that this happened.
Now the show concluded with the jury unable to reach a verdict, they were hopelessly dead locked. The prosecutor offered a deal of probation, parenting classing and the father being registered on the child sex offenders list (something that would follow him for the rest of his life).
So now what do you think?
As bloggers, most of us put pictures of our kids out there. Should we be prosecuted for posting these pictures, whether they be in good taste or not, because some sicko uses them in a perverted manner?
Is it in poor judgment to post pictures of our kids? It is our job as a parent to protect our kids from the evils of the world. Is putting pictures of our children out there just exposing them to this evil and leaving them open for harm?
I don't know the answers but I thought about this. For the most part, I know the people that read this blog and look at my pictures. But I don't know everyone and I don't know everyone's intent. I often wonder if I put too much of my life out there. Am I making a poor judgment call or a bad choice as a parent? Should I be arrested for this decision? I mean I did post picture of my children in the bathtub, naked. Is this child porn?
But I also take my children out in public, to the park, to the mall. I let them run around in a swim suit at a pool and sometimes in just a diaper or underwear at the beach. Should this be considered sexual exploitation? Is it making them available for kidnapping? Is doing this in real life any different than what I am doing online?
I don't know the answers. I am not really sure where I stand on the whole issue. But I would love to hear your thoughts. Lets discuss.
Deux par Deux Has The Cutest Kid Clothes
4 days ago
30 comments:
I think the answer is pretty clear, at least in regards to the man's case. He should be let go with a warning. He obviously didn't know. But to be put in the same class as a sex offender is just ridiculous. I tell ya, time, money and American's efforts are totally misplaced sometimes.
As for your blog, at least you now know that a naked pic of your child COULD end up somewhere you don't want it to and that's food for thought. So, don't post the naked ones or go private.
Whoo. Tough. To me, the defense sounded like it had the stronger case, although I can understand why the jury was deadlocked.
I have a policy - no naked baby pics on my blog - but then I did post that cutie one of Smoochy sitting in that little see-through bucket:a blurry side-on of a little kid enjoying summer. I always wonder about that.
Of course, the whole subject would be moot if sexual deviance (okay, "SIN") wasn't a problem in the first place.
I agree with live.love.eat.
Regarding blogging, I'm about one traumatic event away from becoming a paranoid schitzo so I rarely post real life pics. If I do I blur out faces of anyone that's not me, and the only pics up of my kids, they're covered in bubbles and goggles so ya can't really see them. Like I said- paranoid.
But I don't think there is anything wrong with displaying pics of your kids, it's just not for me. Ya just have to be careful.
They should develop some sort of coding link program thing that tells you whenever someone has copied or downloaded a pic from your site and brings you to the place it was posted with an option to remove it if you want.
Listed as a sex offender is definitely not right in this case, although according to the laws, he qualifies. He should suffer some consequence, and ignorance is no excuse. And if I were in his shoes, I'd become an advocate for child safety and make my voice heard to other parents that might find themselves sinking in legal red tape over seemingly innocent, proud parent photos. As parents, we have to have the forethought and wherewithall that things we do now might bite us in the butt later. It's harsh, but so true, especially in this world today.
I'm scared for my children on a daily basis in this world, and these thoughts too hit me when I think about the personal information I post in bloggyland. It wouldn't be too hard for some sicko to follow a blog for a short period, find that child and snatch them up. I do post photos of my kiddos and my blog is public. I don't list my town, school names, last names, or anything else that might lead a perv to my door. But in the event that we do have some trouble, I've got a loaded shotgun and the balls to use it lol.
I don't think it's okay to show a child's naked private parts...but I have a photo of Elijah with his shirt off on my blog, so where do you draw the line? I like sharing my life and my children's adorableness with my friends and family and also with the friends and community here on the web.
We should punish the real sex offenders instead of making a mockery of a parent who's obviously proud and happy with his child.
(I know it was a t.v. show, but this has happened in real life too. I should look up the one case I read and link it up later)
Ugh! I hate that there are even people out there who do such evil things and make it so that we need to think about this!
As for me, I won't put any of my kids pictures on my blog. I do add them to Facebook, but hopefully the privacy settings make that alright. Even then, I'm extremely paranoid and I would never post a picture that showed anyone naked. I'm even scared when it comes to the park because I saw this show a while ago (I can't remember what it was - one of those silly self help ones)and they were talking to this guy who ran a website where he had people go to the park and take suggestive pictures of kids while they were playing, and then he uploaded them to this horrible site, where he'd provide all the info of where the picture was taken etc. Long story short, my daughter has to wear pants to the park.
I just recently found your blog, so please don't be alarmed and think I'm a stalker/lurker! I just wanted to weigh in on this subject!
I have 2 toddlers and I also have a photography business on the side. On top of that, I am a legal secretary, so this scenario is something I am all too paranoid about!
If a client wants naked baby/toddler pics, I NEVER get private parts in the shot, and if I do, I recompose the shot, tell the parents "OOPS!" and delete the photo from my camera right then.
When it comes to my own kids, the same applies. I have a few bathtub pics, but you can't see anything but the top half...granted one of my kids is a 2 yr old girl. I know a 2 yr old doesn't have 'breasts', but believe me, from working in the legal field for 10 years, mostly criminal law, there are plenty of freaks out there.
I agree with basically everyone else's comments on how the father should just be warned - not as in a slap on the wrist, but as in PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN AND USE GOOD JUDGMENT. Some people may not realize how 'available' they make stuff online. Facebook defaults to let the whole world see whatever you put on there, (to other FB users.) You have to manually change your privacy settings.
And not only are the pics themselves at risk, but freaky weirdos can photoshop whatever they want onto any pic they find online!
Plus there was a story recently of a Missouri family who's family Christmas card photo ended up on a billboard in the Ukraine or someplace, as advertising for a grocery store!! It's VERY SCARY how the internet can be used by the freaks of the world.
I think it's disgusting that we should even have to worry about this. Naked baby pictures used to be pure and just sweet, not porn. I know I have pictures on Facebook of my son in the tub; I do try to not put ones up of him with his pee-pee showing but I think there are some of him when he was just born showing all his man glory.
I think that man on the show (or in real life) should not be held responsible. He wasn't posting the picture in bad taste or for people to use horribly, but for his family to see his son (or daughter?). These sites are the new photo album. Would you be arrested if someone broke into your house and stole a picture of your kid naked and posted it online??
First and foremost, I believe parents should take the utmost care in choosing what to post online in terms of their children. I am very careful about posting even tame things such as swimming shots of my teenagers, but you just never know who wants to use those pix in a wrong way. However, I would never side with a decision to put a father (like in this show) on a sex offender's list or even have him take classes. And no, I do not agree that it is like handing a gun to a criminal. The criminal is the one who made the choice to go the wrong route.
This world we live in. Scary at times, yes? :-)
I can't imagine having to go through something like that. And I am sure that the father has already been punished enough. Most people, who are normal and of sound mind and body, don't take pictures of our children with an ill intent at all. Who doesn't want to capture childhood moments that are adorable. And bathtime for some kids (mine included) is one of the funnest (sp?) times ever! I have dozens of tub pictures. But I will say that any of them that I post on the family blog usually don't show his nether regions. Only because some other blog friends have had problems with the searches it results in. I will say that if I wasn't aware of tracking blog visits and such, I would probably not realize the harm posting those pictures could do.
In the big picture, being a parent is hard enough, and I feel like everytime something bad comes from something innocent that the parent is the one to get in trouble. Almost like spanking the good child in front of the bad child to prove a point. That's such a touchy situation.
I don't watch the show but I don't agree with posting naked pictures online. I think you are just asking for trouble there. However, I don't think he should be listed on the sex offenders list, but that's pretty murky. He knew he wasn't posting them on a private site so anyone could gain access. I think he does deserve a punishment but I am just glad it's not me dishing it out!
I do watch this show. My husband and I had this conversation when it was over. Well, it started while the show was on. That was a tough one for us. I haven't posted any pictures of my son on my barely there blog. I do post pictures of him on my Facebook and MySpace pages. My husband and I spent a lot of time talking about it. I'm not sure how I feel about it though. I've never posted pictures of my son that he was barely or not clothed in. But if I were to I never would have thought about it ending up in the wrong hands.
Should we go back to covering up Michaelangelo's David with a fig leaf so he doesn't offend? Or perhaps we should all wear muslim burkhas because you just never know how someone will interpret a woman's bare arms.
Are we this puritanical? This father should no more have been punished or even "warned" than a rape victim should be punished for wearing a short skirt. What he did was a normal proud papa thing. The only person/people who are in the wrong here are the child pornographers. They took a beautiful thing and turned it into something ugly. It is they who are sick and should be punished.
As long as the pictures are tasteful, there is no harm.
I agree with CaraBee. The dad isn't the one that did something wrong here. That is the same argument as saying that if you wear a short skirt you are "asking for it". That being said, I don't even TAKE pictures of my kids naked below the waist. Something about it just makes me uncomfortable which sucks because c'mon kids in the bath = super cute.
Wow, Jen, you are getting some great thoughtful comments.
I do not use my real name, nor do I put 'identifying' information in my blog. I do not discuss family or post pictures of my children, for the reasons others have alluded to. It's a sad fact too that photoshop could be used to alter photos to something truly awful.
I think that as long as we use our best judgment then it's ok to post pictures of family and loved ones. I would never post anything that could be misconstrued or anything with my kids not dressed...sadly there are those that ruin it for everyone, but I think as parents we have a filter and know what is appropriate and what isn't.
That's an interesting question! I would never post a naked kid pic anywhere--but I have used some diaper ones. It's so creepy to think of weirdos out there that would use pics for such purposes--but unfortunately, I guess that's the reality.
As for the show--I definitely don't think it's fair that he would be labeled a sex ofender! He made a stupid mistake is hiw I see it...
I think it is ridiculous! I mean, we have all had naked pictures as babies...the bearskin rug, the tub, etc. Just because there are sick people out there, that means that we are the bad ones? It just doesn't make any sense to me. However, it is a reality and I wouldn't post anymore naked pictures...no matter how cute!
I definitely would avoid posting naked pics of my kids no matter how young on any website or blog... there are really sick people out there. I don't think the man deserves to be listed with sex offenders though. Meanwhile, we all have to be careful here in the blogsphere!
I think, with all the social media out there and what we now know about social media today, parents need to be responsible with what they post and to know how to protect your privacy. No naked pictures, those are for home viewing only. Any other pictures need to have privacy settings so that only friends and family sees them.
This is the stuff that keeps me up at night. The idea that people you don't know can view your life and take from it what they want. Very scary. As along as you keep yourself armed from these situations, I think you have a better chance of not being affected by the bad out there.
Great discussion.
Hmmmm, a very interesting topic. I honestly think the father didn't realize how far this would go. We all take cute pics of our kids running around naked or in the bathtub but none of us think about the evil people in the world who want nothing more than to exploit our children by stealing those pics.
I think, at the very least, the dad should get a warning but leave it at that. To have him registered as a sex offender is going a little too far, IMO.
I do think parents should not post naked pictures of their children on blogs or websites because of that very reason. That said, I don't think that the father should be on the sex offender list. By doing that we are opening the door to the sex offender list not being taken seriously and IT IS a very serious matter.
Ok, first and foremost, just so you know, I love Zack Morris.
Now, onto the matter at hand. As far as that episode goes...the father is not guilty. While more people (obviously) see pictures posted on a site such as FB, it would be no different than the father carrying around the picture in his wallet and showing it in person to friends. Then if someone stole this picture from him and posted it on a porn site, would the father be guilty? No. That's pretty much what happened. All the pictures I post on FB and my blog are still my pictures/property. And I have noticed that some bloggers put a disclaimer and/or watermark over their pictures stating it's their property.
That being said, bottom line is it's our responsibility to protect our children from harm/exploitation however, people are ultimately responsible for their own choices too. Here's an example; I have door locks, an alarm system, etc to keep my children safe from burglars. However, I'm not being absolutely as safe as I could be...I mean, I could patrol the outside of my house all night with a loaded gun in the even someone tries to break in and harm my children.
In conclusion, don't make it easy for your children to come to any kind of harm, but if someone violates basic rights (theft) to harm then you, as the parent, should not be found guilty.
Sorry this was long and a little confusing.
I am very careful on my blog not to user my children's real names, and whenever I post pictures of them I put my "watermark" on them so that it would be difficult for anyone else to use them.
That's how I try to protect my kids. I also wouldn't publish pictures on my private blog that I consider questionable.
An obviously hot topic here - and one where I feel the same way as everyone else. No need to rehash the same thing... :)
I agree more with your second to last paragraph. If people want to exploit children they will find anyway to do it. They could take a pic of the kid in public (like you said, in there diaper at the pool...) and post it on their nasty website. Unfortunately it's impossible to completely protect our children from that. Just my 2 cents!
that episode pissed me off! my kids are photographed in various stages of undress ALL THE TIME and it's posted sometimes. I blackbar privates but that doesn't stop a perv from taking Aidan's face and photoshopping it onto a nekkid kid's photo. people are sick, it can't be stopped. we do the best we can and that's all we can do.
Ok, I have naked pictures of my kids. In the bath of course, and then going down our stairs buck naked. I LOVE them because I love their sweet nakie innocence and their cute chubby bodies. I want to remember them that way forever! But I have not posted these pictures anywhere on the internet because I think it is my job to protect them, even if it isn't harming them directly.
Now, I do have my kid's names and pictures posted in various places, and I know even that could be taken and used for vile purposes. But I figure anyone who is introduced to them in real life would basically have the same info anyway. And I'm honestly more weary of people who they come into actual contact with more than I am random people on the internet.
wow...deep subject! I want to jump over to my blog or FB account right now to check to see if I have anything questionable up (I don't think I do, but...)
I don't think the father should be put on the registry. I realize that's there for a very good reason, but sometimes I think the use of it goes too far (i.e. cases like this or even when a teenager has 'relations' with their also-teenager significant other and then one gets charged with being with a minor and ends up on that..).
Ultimately, its very sad the world that we live in - that innocence can't just be that anymore and that we have to fear things like this!
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