Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Bathroom: Personal Time or Lets Make Mischief

A normal morning routine consists of breakfast, starting laundry, getting everyone dress, doing the dishes and me puttzing around in my jammies for a while. Just about the time, 'my morning coffee kicks in,' I put a movie on for the babies in order to give me a few minutes to take a shower and do my business.

This morning was a little different, my stomach was not cooperating with the plan. It just kept churning and turning. I kept telling it to wait, I just wanted to finish folding this one load, then I would put the movie on and I could use the bathroom. Just wait. stomach and then we can have a semi-peaceful bathroom experience.

Well, as I was about to fold that one last towel, I couldn't wait any more. I had to go and I HAD to do it NOW!

Just as I sit down to do my business, I hear Jake crying. He is not crying hard but it does sound a little muffled. I assume that Quinn has tackled him or is sitting on him. I yell for Quinn to stop but the crying continues. It is getting a little more desperate sounding. I yell again for Quinn to stop but instead, I get Claire busting into the bathroom dancing and prancing around saying, "Momma, Momma, Momma!"

I really don't think anything of this and continue with my business at hand. But the crying is getting more and more panicked and Claire is running back and forth between the bathroom and the bedroom, all the while saying "Momma, Momma, Momma". I try calling for Jake to come here but that just makes it worse.

Fine! I will stop. I suck it in, pull up my pants and see what the heck is going on. This better be good because I was so not ready.

I walk into the bedroom and see Jake stuck. It looked a little like this. (This is a demonstration, I didn't have the camera close for the real thing.)
His head was wedged under the dresser. It was really tight. I was not even sure how I was going to get him out. I wondered if I would have that super human strength that mom's get to free their children. You know, moms who have lifted cars from their kids. Well, I guess this comes in a real emergency because there was no way that I was lifting the dresser off of him.

I figured that I would just pull him out. He pushed his head under there, to get that ball you see there, so I should be able to pull him out. With a quick yank and a lot of protesting, he was free. Not happy about being birthed from under the dresser but at least he was free.

This is just one more thing to add to the list that no one tells you about when you become a mom. Going to the bathroom is no longer a person private thing and if you do get the chance to go, it will be interrupted by some thing that needs attention. There must be some censor in kids heads that goes off when any parents sits down, Mom is in the bathroom, let the mischief making commence!

Now, if you will excuse me I have to go finish my business.

32 comments:

momma said...

oh.my.word!!!!! something like this has sooooooooooo happened to me!!! only it was little man and he ATE an entire yankee votive candle. he had to climb on the top of the tv stand (about 5 feet tall) to get it! needless to say, he had nice pine-green colored and smelling poop for about a week.

also, another "good" time for the mischief sensors to go off is when i am on the phone :)

Krissi said...

Yes, as mothers we no longer have ANY private time!! Dang our mischevious offspring!!

Rhea said...

What a horrible place to get your head stuck! Poor little guy.

Cute post, Jen. Hilarious.

Shannon said...

First... I'm glad the little bugger is ok!

And yes... the sensor that kids come with that tells them to interrupt mommy while she's in the bathroom needs to be turned off... NOW!

Unknown said...

Poor little fella-sounds JUST LIKE MY HOUSE LOL:)

Danyele Easterhaus said...

i always feel so good when i read ur posts to know my kids aren't the only ones. that's all i have to say...now go poop!

BBB said...

Dear Jesus,

Thank you that Jake is okay. And thank you for reminding me that babies are fun to look at and hold but 2 is enough.

Amen.

Rachael Schirano \\ Rachael Schirano Photography said...

oh my gosh, poor little guy! and poor momma!

Maternal Mirth said...

Private moments are overrated anyway. Why have peace and privacy when you could have the valor & excitement on ER levels???

Susie said...

It is totally unfair! They make our bladders smaller in direct porportion to their attention spans. It's part of the conspiracy:-) Hee, hee, hee.

Michelle said...

LOL! Let me tell you, it never ends, well at least it hasn't for me.

My 13 year old interupted me this morning to ask if she could wrap her sisters present. Ah, can this wait a few minutes......

Michelle said...

I hear you! My kids are a little older and I can usually manage to go to the bathroom in peace but we recently had an incident when our friends 3 kids were spending the night (6 kids total, crazy). Her 4 year old managed to get his head stuck in the dinning room chair and of course my husband didn't know what to do so I hear my husband yelling, "Michelle, Michelle" as I am getting ready. Good thing moms are so good at handling "emergencies" like this.

Kelly Deneen Raymond said...

Oh NO!!! I am glad you were able to get him free by yourself!!

mommy nurse said...

Great re cap and I love the pictures (w/ no children were hurt during this filming) Thank goodness you freed him and got back to your business.

Shelley said...

I am so glad that I am not the only one who cannot even take a poop without someone having a crises.

Aunt Julie said...

Maybe you should write a book? I think it just might sell!

CaraBee said...

That re-creation is hysterical! Why can't they just let a momma do her thing in peace?

Casey's trio said...

OH NO!! It is tough to get a good bathroom break in these days...most of the time they are walking in and out while I'm "busy!" So glad Jake was okay.

Anonymous said...

I've learned that both children and dogs destroy personal bathroom time.

Here's wishing you and your family the Merriest of Christmases and a happy new year (and a little alone time in the bathroom)

Anonymous said...

Thanks, I really needed a laugh right now. I often wonder why we even have a bathroom door.

Jennifer said...

LOL! I'm glad the dresser had a successful birth and that you got to finish your business!!

Keys to the Magic Travel said...

I can't recall the last time I got to go to the bathroom by myself. What a novel idea. And the phone always seems to ring then, too. So then the whole world will know where I am...

Liz {Learning To Juggle} said...

Oh poor Mommy (my husband is looking at me like I have three heads I am laughing so hard I am crying...sorry).

"What to Expect When You are Expecting" needs to add one thing

Cherish you bathroom time now, once your little bundle(s) of joy arrives it will no longer be your time

Jenn said...

Personal bathroom time, that's what work is for. No wait we have to bring our phones with us and that is ALWAYS when mine goes off. I'll make you a deal, I'll hold your phone if you'll hold mine. Hey, I'll even watch your patients so you can have all the post coffee "personal time" you need!

Hippomanic Jen said...

I hope you managed to take care of business without any other interruptions.

Givinya De Elba said...

Sometimes I just say, "Right, I'm off to the toilet. Who wants to come and watch?"

Can't beat em; join em.

Scary Mommy said...

LOL, I can't remember the last time I shit in peace. ;P

Merry Christmas, my bloggy friend!

Kat said...

Hun, I don't think I have pee'd in private for the last 5 years. Merry Christmas!

Michelle said...

I can so feel your pain... and lack of privacy... try having no gallbladder.. the sense of "urgency" is heightened and well, an accident can happen most anytime... Oh! Do your kids like to sit on your lap while you are busy???? My husband cringes at this and can't possibly imagine his "private time" interrupted... Men... such babies!

tiarastantrums said...

oh my goodness - we really don't get one minute of Peace do we!!

Glad the little man is okay!

Dee said...

Hi, came over via Givinya in Oz.
I have yet to have my girls stuck anywhere, thankfully! But they always come into the bathroom.

Ronnica said...

At least Claire tried to get help for him, even if she didn't have the words to stress the importance!