I must admit that at some point in time all or one of my children annoy me. OK, so maybe not the child him/herself but their behavior. Come on admit it, some things that kids to are down right annoying.
The most annoying behavior that Quinn has is that he is super clingy. He takes being a Mommy's boy to the extreme. It was so bad when he was a little baby that he would only eat for me and scream bloody murder when anyone else tried. On the nights that I would be at work and Jeff was home with all the kids, Quinn would refuse to eat cry and cry until he fell asleep ( he was about 5/6 months at the time, not good). This was frustrating to say the least.
Thankfully, he has grown out of this but I am still his preferred person. He will tolerate other people but always looks in my direction. If he is tired, cranky or scared, I am the only person he wants. Heaven forbid that some one else take him. When I am holding some one else, he bites, hits, pulls hair and pushes the other kids, trying to make them leave my arms. Sometimes I wonder if he knows that he is part of a set.
After I work a short shift and come home, I of course say hello to all the babies but Quinn tries to monopolize my time and attention. Which he can't do because there are other people in this house that need me. So it usually end up with him following me around and screeching at the top of his lungs. According to him, it is a complete tragedy if I pick up another kid first.
Deep down, I really hate that he does this and I can't figure out why. But this behavior does not make we want to spend more time with him. Although, I do sit just special with him. When we "choose" babies for carrying, I will take him. It is just easier that way.
He does spend a lot of time with me but it never seems like enough. I have noticed that he gets more of my attention than the other two. Jake is kinda like this too but not to the extreme that Quinn is. Is it a boy thing?
So I just don't know what to do. I really, really dis-like this behavior with a passion. I hate that he has to spend a lot of the day crying because I can't give him the undivided attention that he craves. Can anyone offer some help? Do any of you have a very clingy child? What can I do? I want to break with behavior because I really don't want a 20 year old who won't leave my side.
Deux par Deux Has The Cutest Kid Clothes
4 days ago
15 comments:
Although I won't be much help here I do want to offer the good news that I am pretty sure he won't want to be around you much well before he even turns 20.
I just have an almost 5 yr old who isn't very clingy, only here and there and then I very much welcome it because he is just extra loving at those times. Hopefully some of the other moms with more kids can offer more insight.Good luck!!! Jeez, long comment for not being very helpful, huh?!
Reagan is clingy and whiney and it drives me insane. It's my least favorite thing about her and I really have to work hard to keep from getting angry with her. I know exactly what you are talking about. When you figure out how to fix it will you let me know please?
Just keep on being the good mom that you are. I know the behavior does drive you nuts, but you always seem to handle it well. When I hold him, I try to make sure that you are not in the room. Apparently, it is out-of-sight, out-of-mind for him, as he seems quite happy to have me hold him then. However, when he can see you, or hear your voice, then it's no go for Grandma B.
I don't think it is a boy thing necessarily. I think it is a personality thing. My Uno is VERY much like that. Even to this day, she will try and plop her 8 year old body down on me when I least expect it. She likes to butt into conversations to grab my attention. She talks louder than her brother to get my attention. She is just a high maintenance child.
How to fix it? Well, it's hard. I think Uno learned a lot about sharing me when I had Dos - but your Quinn has always been with his siblings. I remember one time when Dos was just a newborn and I put him in the pack n play so I could pee. I came out of the bathroom and Dos was screaming. Uno said "You leave him there Momma, we go play!"
Sorry I can't give advice for now. I would just encourage you to spread yourself evenly among the kids and even though he is little, he will learn. When he is a bit older, he can be taught about personal space, taking turns, and the such. We are working with Uno now to ask before she sets down on us - all 70 pounds of her.
There is a book I read. Dificult to delightfull in just 30 days by Jacob Azerrad. It was a great book.
It is a short read, and tells how to change the way your childs acts. My 5 yr olds teacher uses these methods and she says it is very effictive.
I have good news and bad news. My Wild Child was my super clingy one! There were times my the RS would call me at the grocery store and would tell me to leave the cart where it was and to come home that second. He had had all the screaming he could take. Mind you the grocery store in those days was 20 minutes away. Personal body space in those days was a high premium! So I read a lot of books on the topic. Most of them boiled down to this: Children who are clingy while really young have a very tight bond. (Ya, no kiddin'?")The good part of that is that when they grow up they are more self assured and better adjusted. They aslo tend to roll with change better than their counter parts. So the bad news...probably going to have to out grow it. (though I noticed others recomended some books I haven't read that really might help.)Good news...they out grow it. My Wild Child did when she turned 4. She does roll with change better than the others. She is also still more shy than the others around new people, but not overly clingy. It's a good thing she out grew it when she did. She was getting to be a very heavy appendage.
Does he pull on your shorts (sometimes to the point that they come off) when you don't give him the attention he wants? Moose does! Drives me NUTS!!
Just to be clear, I'm quite sure Jen wants a 20 year old who won't leave her side. She just wants him to be good-looking and unrelated.
Graham prefers me now, but as a baby he didn't really care who he got... Dottie LOVES her Daddy.. if he's around it's like I don't exist..
Sorry, I'm no help...
I wish I could help. I know the feeling. I always feel guilty when my kids do that...it's probably because the MAKE me feel guilty by whining. I usually make them take a bath or shower to get them out of my hair for a minute or two. Sometimes it's let's me catch my breath.
I wish I could help but I think it wears off. My 11 yr old is finally getting independent but can still be very clingy.
BTW, I love your blog and so I decided to tag you...
Tag! You're IT! See my UN-spectacular blog post. :)
Jeff's comment is cracking me up.
And, he won't be 20 and by your side, I can pretty much guarantee that.
The behavior is working for him. Somehow, he feels like he is getting the results he wants. I have one child, so I don't think I am qualified to answer and my technique may not work for you, but I pay attention to my son when he is behaving the way I want.. re-enforcing the positive.
I have walked out on my son a number of times throwing a tantrum... and he realized early on that they just didn't work. But again, your family dynamics are totally different then mine.
You should be able to write a great book in 20 years!
Gotta tell you ......... my eight year old is still like this. And my 12 year old at times too. They still hug and kiss me goodbye and I love it. i know when they are cranky teens that will change. But for now I love it. :)
How about setting part of the day (even just 10 minutes) aside as special me time with just one of the kiddies? That way, you don't end up missing anyone.
I completely understand. I had forgotten that I read about your fabulous kids lately. Come and read my sometimes whiney blog whenever you want!
Well crap...Sunangel tagged you. Don't feel obligated, I even cheated by not linking, I refered to my small blog roll. Anyway, I know how ya feel about the clingy child. Our daughter was like that and it drove me MAD! But, one day she woke up and it was all over. Now I wish I had a "little" bit of that...but she's 10 now, so I just beg for cuddling every now and then! Funny, I just thought of this...I am a bit clingy now. YUK! I will curb the urge! haha
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