I really racked my brain for this one. I thought about listing the usually things like spiders, snakes, chickens, storms, burglars, that I will never get enough sleep, and other rational and irrational things. But I thought that I would take a more serious approach and open up a little bit. I feel that I have a 'healthy' fear. I don't dwell on these things. I am the kind of person that takes things in stride. These are just some of the things that can (but don't often) keep me up at night, some of my personal struggles and issues.
I fear...
...the loss of innocents of my children. I don't want them to grow up and have to face all the evils in the world. I want to protect them and keep them sweet, happy, children forever.
...losing control. I don't do very well when I am not in control of the situation. It makes me panicky. I like to drive, know where I am going, and be the one who says when we get there.
...my husband falling out of love with me. I don't really think that this will happen but... Marriages fall apart. It happens to a lot of people. Who says that it is not going to happen to us? What make us safe from this?
...being vulnerable. I am a strong and indepenant person. I have to be strong, I can't be weak. I have to protect myself, my family and my heart.
...the unknown. I don't like to face the unknown. It really scares me. It has to do with that being in control thing.
...that my faith is not strong enough and that I don't have a good relationship within my faith.
...not being accepted. I spent most of my younger years pretending to be a person that I was not. I made a pact with myself that I would never do that again. I am not going to act a certain way to be liked and accepted. I am me.
...growing bitterness towards my proffession. After many years in the nursing field, there is a bitterness that starts to grow. I see it happen all the time. I fight like hell to keep this from happening.
...being perceived as stupid or not knowing what I am talking about. There is a certification for critical care nurses (CCRN) that I really want. It is a test that you have to take about actually being a critical nurse. I am afraid of this test because what if the knowledge is not really there.
...something really bad is going to bad to my family. I know this may sound silly but we have had a pretty good life. Things always seem to work out for us. We have worked hard for the things that we have but we have not had to stuggle for them like some people. I have not had to deal with tradgey. Its like when is the other shoe going to drop? Why do some people seem to suffer more than others? When is it going to be our turn?
I am sorry for the seriousness of this post. I hope I didn't make any one more fearful or bring up new fears. This was really good for me, to get these thoughts out of my head but it also caused me to think about them more and therefore not sleep very well. I hope you will forgive my fear and scariness, I will try and stay on the lighter side of life later.
37 comments:
Such a great post! Yes, and I can really relate to the last one. That must be my biggest fear, coupled with losing a member of my direct family.
I surely fear many of the same things. Losing a child is my number one fear.
I fear looking stupid too! I probably fear loosing my child too, but won't admit that in my mind as within the realm of possibilities. When I was 19 my 11-year-old sister died suddenly of a heart arrhythmia ... but yeah... we don't dwell on that one. ;)
Good list. Everybody needs some 'serious' sometimes!
You've been tagged.
We all need to think about - and confront - our fears from time to time. It can be painful, but also liberating at the same time as we give them over to God and put our trust in Him and His promises.
I had to do that with my fear of losing my children. I've had horrendous dreams throughout my parenting lifetime where I've witnessed my children's death or my not being able to get to them to protect them from harm. When I finally realized that I was making my children into essentially an idol, I asked God's forgiveness for making them more important than Him and gave them to Him to do with as He pleased.
It was a scary thing to do, but faith involves taking God at His word and believing that His kingdom is more important than mine. In the process, I see God moving through my children in remarkable ways that transcends anything I could be doing.
Fear? What a great post. I think I like your writers workshop ideas. I think when we can identify what our fears are then we can truly start to overcome them. I also think that some fears are healthy. They can inspire greatness or keep us grounded. Or they can just keep us safe.
Thanks for sharing and giving us cause to pause and reflect upon our own fears.
Have a great day!
Thank you for your honesty! It seems that there are many of us that fear the same things, if we just let ourselves admit them!
lovely honest post!
No need to be sorry for opening up silly goose! Your last fear I identify with so much.
i am so impressed with your transparency. thanks for sharing this.
great post!
Awesome post. I think many people have some of the same fears as you. Very well articulated.
9-11 changed "fear" for me. And this economy scares me to tears.
This was an excellent post. Defining your fears is a way of overcoming them or at least dealing with them. I think we all have fears similar to yours.
Awesome post.
I think everything on your list is an acutal fear that I keep deep inside myself I try not to dwell on them but they're there just the same. (except the nurse test cause I know the knowledge isnt there)
Great list!
I know one thing you can check off your fear list! passing the CCRN, I know you can do it! I've seen you in action, study up sister and take the test!!!
Great list.. We share many of the same fears..
The unknown being my biggest one..
I think that all of those fears are very natural to have. Fear is just a signal to yourself that you have something to work on. It's all a journey and we will all get there:-)
totally totally agree on the unknown!! i HATE the unknown whether its for good or bad. i want to know everything!
i just wanted to come back and say that i found your post very insightful and it has prompted me to think about my fears and what that means for our family...
thanks!
Great post... Now I am going over all of my fears....
Thanks a lot...
(I jest)
Ooo that's a good one. Not come across this before and it's really insightful.
I didn't know fear until I had children.
Whoa, thanks for your honesty. I really learned a lot about you. You are very brave to open yourself up like that! {{{hug}}}
Very good post! It does feel great to get things serious out now and then, don't it?! I share some of the same fears...and now after reading others, I've thought of a dozen or more that I didn't list on mine! Oh well, another time!
I love that you went a little more in depth with this one. I have a lot of the same fears...I'd also like to add that I'm afraid that I will be the one to fall out of love. How do we freeze time and just keep things happy and innocent??
I share a lot of the same fears.
I definitely fear feeling vulnerable. Some form of this might occupy #s 1-5 on my list.
I read this post this morning...and you are going to think I am nuts, but I have actually been thinking about it all day. Mostly because I just wonder if I live in a Pollyana or Doris Day bubble. Because I just don't have these fears. And then I spent the day "fearing" it was wrong :-)
But then today on my post, I did this 11 favorite things - and Scary Mommy mentioned that her favorite movie is "Defending your life." Have you seen it? It's about "heaven" - and how you must defend the life you lived. And if you were ruled by fear or not. You should netflix it. It's hilarious - but rather insightful as to our purpose...
Such and honest an insightful post.
That;s why I love your blog. Every time I come its the real deal.
Insightful post. You and I are a lot alike. I understand the control thing. Over time I have learned to let go of the things I have no need to control. It's crazy, but the more I let go of all that control, the less I fear a lot things.
I have some of the same fears... I think its ok to have fears, but you can't obsessively worry about them.
Oh, and we hardly get snow here in TN. I think it has snowed twice in the last five years. And nothing more than an inch or two!
Ice is our biggest threat... it will rain then temps drop and ice freezes the tree limbs... making them heavy so they snap off the trees and knock down power lines. Nice, huh? Not to mention trying to drive on iced over roads...
Oh, I can so relate to so many of your fears...can I just copy your list and change some of the details? ;) I didn't get my homework done this week...
As far as the "some people seem to struggle so much and we've had a good life" thing, I have my own theory about that. I, too, feel like I've lead a charmed life. Not perfect. We have our struggles, too. But mostly things have been good.
I truly believe in the "law of attraction" thing and that you have the power to decide what your life will be. My life is good because I expect it to be good. And so I manifest good things (and good people) into my life.
Call me crazy, but I think it's true! I love to watch Wayne Dyer when he's on PBS. I know, I'm insane. But I'm happy. :)
Such honesty in this post...and you were brave to put it all out there. The toughest part is that some of the greatest fears we face are sometimes out of our control. Great Post!
Honesty is refreshing. It's nice to see people can talk about their real fears. I can relate to much of what you said
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